Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

Tag Archive: uncertainty

May 24 2010

Emotional Expenses and Moving Forward


This past few days has been very tough. The emotional expenses we have paid out were more then we had to give. There has been a great deal of uncertainty in our lives over the last decade and it has taken its toll. I want so badly to move forward but I just don’t know how to.

There are so many things that are up in the air right now with EJ, ER, Gavin and Lizze it seems impossible to just relax. I think that we need a change. I haven’t figured out what that change is but I know we desperately need it. I really think we need a clean start, the kids need a clean start.

I have been telling Lizze for years that sometimes I just want to move somewhere far away where no one knows us and start over. We could re-claim our lives and take back all the control that has been taken from us over the years. I know the kids could do w/o all the stress and pressure we are all under right now.

I need to figure something out. I need to figure out how to move forward. I want to put the events and people causing us pain behind us and leave them there. They don’t deserve to have us give them a single thought anymore. The cost of everything has been very high both emotionally and physically.

I have to figure out what that first step needs to be. I have to figure out what direction we need to go.


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Apr 20 2010

A parent of autism


I’ve been a parent to an autistic child for about 9 years. I’ve been through it all before so I should know what to expect but I don’t.

For some reason it feels like the first time again. All the uncertainty, fear and feelings of guilt have all come back. I wonder what I did wrong. I ask myself what I should have done differently.

I have also begun bargaining with God. Later the anger with God will kick in for what is happening to Emmett John. The fear of whether or not it is regressive like Gavin’s is smacking me in the face.


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