Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

Tag Archive: touch

Nov 25 2012

I just love Emmett’s logic


Emmett was eating some jumbo shrimp for lunch this afternoon when he decided that he couldn’t deal with the tails. 

Now, up to that point, he was eating around the them as is commonly done by most people when they eat shrimp.

Today however, he wasn’t willing to do that.

He first wanted to cut the tail off with a pair of scissors, but we said no. 

We explained to him that he just needs to hold it by the tail and use his teeth like scissors and bite off and chew up the part of the shrimp that he’s supposed to eat, just like he normally would.

Apparently, today the tail was disgusting and he wouldn’t even touch it. 

However, he didn’t let that stop him.  In true Lost and Tired family fashion, he thought outside the box and came up with a solution that far less disgusting [insert sarcasm here] than actually touching the tail himself. 

What did he do?

He flipped the shrimp around and holding it by its body, allowed Maggie, our English Staffy, to bite off the tail for him.  He then proceeded to eat it. 

Not wanting to attack his creativity and problem solving skills, I had to speak with him about this. 

I asked him why he did that. He replied,  “Daddy, the tail is disgusting and I don’t want to touch it”. After explaining to me his reasons, he ran off to play.

That’s pretty sound logic, right?

I mean, obviously it’s far less disgusting to allow Maggie to bite the tail off for him,  than touch it himself. After all,  she’s only using the same mouth that she licks her own butt with and sometimes Bella’s gross parts as well.

But hey,  +1 of ingenuity, am I right?

Emmett John,  get back here, why don‘t we go brush your teeth again, you know, just for fun.


Permanent link to this article:

Jun 26 2012

Happy 4th Birthday Emmett


You only turn 4 once in your life and at 12:30am this morning, it was Emmett John’s turn. I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already. This time last year, Emmett was barely speaking and now he’s having simple conversations. Words will never be able to express just how much I love him and how much he means to me.

We had a rather humble birthday party for him Monday night because we won’t be home tonight in order to celebrate.

We had a special dinner, a birthday cake, presents and a balloon. While I wish we were in a position to do more, he was so happy and that’s all that matters. I even manged to get him a cloud so he could touch it. I found some information online about making a cloud in a bottle. Well, I made one and released it into the air, giving Emmett a chance to touch it.

He was really excited and that felt amazing. It felt like I was able to give him something that he has been dreaming about. :-)

Please enjoy the pictures and birthday video. :-)

Happy Birthday my sweet Emmett John. Daddy loves you this big. :-)




Permanent link to this article:

Jun 08 2012

Perpetuating the cycle


I hate this zero tolerance policy for touching.  It’s a necessary evil but at the same time it’s a huge pain in the ass. We have to do zero tolerance because Gavin simply doesn’t respect a broader boundary. We’ve tried it for years and he always tries to take things,  just one step further.

He was supposed to get his privileges back this morning,  and honestly,  I was excited about that.

However,  not only did he touch Elliott this morning but he was also sneaking TV as well. The touching was not inappropriate,  aside from the fact that he’s not supposed to be touching his friggin brothers. It was however,  totally avoidable but instead he choose to touch Elliott.

Before that,  he came downstairs and wanted to help clean the front room. In reality though,  that was an excuse to be able to watch TV and that’s exactly what he was doing.

All of this led to another meltdown.  Zero tolerance means zero tolerance.  There’s no wiggle room and that’s the problem.  I hate that we have to do this.  If he accidentally touches his brothers,  I want to be able to say,  accidents happen. The problem is that there is no way to identify an accident from any other attempt to touch his brothers.

It really is a lose lose situation.

We are constantly having to enforce this policy and it’s exhausting.  That doesn’t even speak to the level of guilt I feel for having to do this in the first place. 

This is becoming a perpetual cycle.  Gavin,  knowingly breaks the rules and is corrected if caught.  Gavin melts down because he is angry that he is caught. The house is held hostage while he’s freaking out and Gavin has consequences for his actions.  This happens over and over.  Repeating the same behavior over and over again but expecting different results is the very definition of insanity.

I think we crossed that bridge awhile back and while I feel guilty for enforcing this,  I probably shouldn’t. I mean,  Gavin is the one perpetuating this cycle by repeating the same behavior in an attempt to test both the boundaries set forth by his therapist and our resolve,  in regards to enforcing those boundaries.

It’s like touch the same hotel burner,  over and over again,  knowing that it will burn every time,  but expecting to walk away uninjured.

I will just have to do what I have to do.  The safety and we’ll being of everyone in the house has to come before Gavin’s need to push the limits. While I don’t feel good having to do this,  I will persevere because it’s best for the rest of my family and essential to Gavin’s prison free future. 

Permanent link to this article:

May 11 2012

Confessions of a special needs Dad (Honesty Post)


This is a pretty heavy post.  I’m really in a bad place at the moment and I need to vent.  Please be advised that this post is meant as a purge valve of sorts for me and nothing else.

Lizze is basically incapacitated.  It’s not her fault but it’s really making things challenging. Emmett is completely out of control and nothing seems to be helping him to relax.

Gavin, well,  I’m not even going to touch on that right now.  I have whole other posts underway on that topic.

I’m a patient guy but even I have my limits.  I’m so tired of the chaos and the screaming. I’m tired of all the drama that surrounds everything in our house. I’m even more tired of all the bullshit that goes on in this neighborhood.

Just as an example,  someone spit on my front door.  There is a huge wad of nasty,  dry spit on my front door.

My wife is being a bitch by the grade school kids walking home through our neighborhood. These kids are under the age of 8 and are having their own fight club.  Except they are putting these little girls,  that are in kindergarten,  into a circle and making them fight each other. These little girls eventually fight and they hurt each other while these other kids laugh and taunt them.

They use my front yard to do this in and Lizze is a bitch for breaking it up and calling the Police. She broke one of these up a few weeks ago and now every time they see her it’s, look,  there’s the bitch.
I hate struggling to get caught up on the mortgage for this house. It’s not safe to live here and I’m killing myself in oder to keep from going into default. Sometimes I honestly wonder why I’m putting myself through this,  just to live in a neighborhood that has almost killed me,  literally.

The stress is killing me and I know my demeanor affects the boys. I know the stress of all this is negatively affecting Lizze as well.

There are few things worse than feeling like you are powerless.

In my case,  I feel like my hands are tied. There is simply to much going on for me to be able to focus on what I really need to focus on,  in order to get us out of here. I bounce from one crisis to the next and all I can manage to do is put out the fire and not address the cause.

I haven’t vented in awhile and after the transmission died on our van,  again,  last week…..  I’ve been simmering at a nice about to lose my mind temperature.

Sometimes,  all I can do is vent,  because I can’t seem to do much else.

I’m watching Gavin continue to decline.  I don’t know how bad it’s going to get but it feels like we’re losing him. I feel guilty having to address his behavior because if we are losing him,  I don’t want this time to be spent constantly correcting him. At the same time,  he’s being sexually inappropriate with his brother and that is absolutely unacceptable. That is also the other post I have coming latter on today.

This is an impossible position to be in and while I don’t want to make Gavin miserable by having to aggressively address this behavior,  no one and I mean no one,  will ever touch my babies in that way. My sympathy for Gavin falls far short of my anger and outrage over his behavior.

When you factor in that I adopted Gavin and Elliott and Emmett are my biological children,  it somehow makes Gavin an outsider that is assaulting my kids.  Does that make sense?  I know that sounds weird but it’s just what I feel.

I did everything I could to protect Gavin from the abuse of his biological father and paternal grandmother.  I will do the same for Elliott and Emmett,  even if it’s from him.

God…. If feel sick even having to say that.

I do think know how much more I can take. I’m not perfect and I’m not so kind of super hero special needs parent. I’m overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted, angry, scared and heartbroken.

This is simply really starting to get to me and I needed to purge.

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

Please join our Autism Help Forum

Look for “Autism Help” app at the Google Play Store Registered & Protected

Permanent link to this article:

Mar 09 2012

Please say a prayer for Elliott


Elliott woke up this morning complaining about his arm hurting.  He had received two booster vaccines 2 days ago so it seemed that tenderness was to be expected.

However,  when I looked at his arm,  I was taken aback.  His entire upper arm is swollen and and stiff.  The skin is very hot to the touch.  This appears to be a rather serious reaction.  We are calling the pediatrician to find out whether we should there or straight to Akron Children’s Hospital.

Elliott is freaking out and I’m a bit worried myself. This was not like this last night. This has occurred within the last few hours. 

Has anyone ever seen this.

The pictures don’t show all the redness but you can see what I’m concerned about.



Please say a prayer that this ends up being ok.  Thank you so much.

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

Please join our Community Autism Support Forum Registered & Protected

Posted from WordPress for Android so please forgive the typos. Auto-correct and I don’t get along very well.

Permanent link to this article:

Jan 15 2012

Keeping in touch


A few months ago my little sister moved out to the Hampton’s .  She took a job as a physical therapist after finishing her doctorate last year.

Anyway,  since the boys don’t see very often anymore we have setup a standing time on Sunday nights in order for the boys to Skype with their Aunt Kate.

They love catching her up on their week and hearing about what is going on inherited life. 

It’s important for them to keep in touch.

It helps them to feel closer to her as well as makes the reunions less stressful for them. 

I love Skype,  the boys can use it from the tablet or from the personal Android4Autism devices. 

In the picture below,  all three of the boys are gathered around the Tablet and taking turns talking to their Aunt.


Posted from WordPress for Android

Permanent link to this article:

Dec 21 2011

Grant me patience


Gavin is driving me absolutely crazy. He will not stop talking and is doing everything in super fast mode. He doesn’t appear all there today.

I’m trying to be as patient as possible but it’s not easy and I’m forced to attempt to block him out,  so as to keep me from going over the edge. He’s stressing out about Christmas and won’t stop talking about it. I have had to ban the subject for right now because I just can’t take hearing about it anymore.

I’m concerned that our attempts to be sensory friendly have already failed as Gavin appears to heading in the direction of another psychotic break.

When that happens, Gavin loses touch with reality. This means he will no longer be able to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s in his head. This hasn’t happened since last year but it’s usually triggered by extreme levels of anxiety which can be brought on by overstimulation.

With Christmas almost here,  Gavin is extremely over stimulated and experiencing high levels of anticipation of what’s to come…..

This is going to be a very long 2.5 weeks of Christmas break……

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Permanent link to this article:

Older posts «

Switch to our mobile site