Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

Tag Archive: son

Jul 22 2013

What I find interesting about my son’s hallucinations


I’m trying to handle Gavin’s hallucinations in a calm manner. We listen to all his stories allow him to talk to us about his adventures.

Today was one of those days that he was deeply entrenched in hallucinated world’s.

In the picture below, you can see how he documented his poker game with his less than visible friends. Gavin was the winner of the poker game, Sonic came in second and Manic was the third place winner.

I always find it interesting how these things work out because he never likes to lose at anything in real life. He doesn’t lose to his less than visible friends either. 

Some how, he always seems to win, although he does admit to cheating. As crappy as this situations is, it’s a real educational experience as well.

We are trying to make the best of the situation.

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Jul 22 2013

I feel like I’m losing my son all over again.


Gavin informed me this morning that he would be gone for most of the day. Apparently, there’s a major battle going on in Sonic land and he will be fighting at Sonic’s side all day.

I didn’t get  many specifics because he was in a hurry to go help his visibly challenged friends.

All I could think to tell him is that I wanted him to be  careful and I didn’t want him to get hurt. Before I could even finish what I was saying, he was off to war.

To Gavin, this is very real and to me, this is very concerning. 

In my writing, I have stopped using the word imaginary to describe these things because I think it conveys the wrong message.  This isn’t his imagination and these aren’t imaginary friends.  This is a form of schizophrenia and he literally sees and hears these things. 

I feel like I’m losing him again and it breaks my heart.

We lost Gavin once already when he suddenly regressed around the age of 3 or 4. He woke up a different person than the one we put to bed the night before.  It was devastating..

It took a great deal of time to come to terms with that.  Over the years, we’ve adjusted to the Gavin that is and said goodbye to the Gavin that was. 

I checked on Gavin a few minutes ago.  I’m not sure what happened to the battle but when I spoke with him, he was playing poker with Sonic and Manic. Yep, there’s a new visibly challenged friend. His name is Manic and apparently he’s in one of the Sonic cartoons. 


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Jul 16 2013

My son is getting lost 🙁


Gavin’s getting so lost right now.  He’s been hanging out with Sonic all day today and we’ve barely seen him. 

He did come down to use a calculator to figure out how to divide the deck of cards by four, so he and his visibly challenged friends, have the same amount.

Truth is, he’s not the only one that’s lost. I’m completely lost and have no idea what to do.  I’m scared, overwhelmed, broken and sad.  Stressed out beyond all imagination is something that makes the list as well.

It’s so hard to focus on anything right now. 

We are being pulled under by the enormity of our situation. I need to catch a break and catch it soon.

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Jul 15 2013

I’m worried about my son


Today is going to begin with a round of phone calls to figure out what to do with Gavin.  It’s apparent that he needs to have more work done to his medications.

His anti-psychotic medications can be bumped up one last notch before he hits the ceiling. 

To be honest, I’m really worried that we are going to be unable to bring him back to a more solid footing within reality. 

I don’t know of what we are going to do if we are unable to treat this psychotic break.  I also don’t know if this is one of those things that will work itself out, if simply left alone. 

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Jul 15 2013

Pulling my son back to reality


Gavin got a new deck of playing cards this past week.  He’s really excited because it’s a full deck and isn’t missing any cards like his other deck. 

Why is he so excited you ask?

Sadly, because his not so visible friends are able to play a game of go fish with an even number of cards.
While I’m happy he’s happy……… Well, you probably understand. 

Anyway, he’s spent much of the day in his room playing cards. Lizze and I are trying to pull him out and encourage him to engage with the rest of us. 

Not sure what good it’s going to do but it feels better than doing nothing. 

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Mar 22 2013

I want to talk about the Person First Language


By now, I would imagine that we have all heard about the person first language. Basically, the premise of this is that you put the person before the disorder.

As I understand it, addressing someone in the person first language would go something like this.  This is my son Johnny, he has Autism.

The point is that some people feel that if you were to say something like, This is my son Johnny  and he’s autistic, or This is my Autistic son Johnny, that you are identifying them by the disorder and not who they are as a person.

To me, I’ve always felt this was really silly and honestly, kinda petty.

If you speak to an adult with Autism, more often than not they prefer to be called Autistic.

So I suppose the question I have is this.

Who’s the person first language really benefiting?

Think about it, if most adults with Autism, prefer to be called Autistic, than why the need for the person first language in the first place?

There’s always going to be someone who prefers a different terminology but does that mean that we have to make a huge deal out of the semantics of Autism?

Here’s my thoughts on this issue.

For starters, I really think the main reason we see people push for the person first language is because wenot they are more comfortable using it, especially when referring to our own children.

I know that some people get really upset when they hear a child referred to as Autistic. It seems as though they feel that using the word Autistic is defining the person. They would rather hear so and so has autism or so and so is a person living with Autism instead.

I really think this has more to do with them and less to do with the person on the spectrum.

In my opinion, the person first language, while good intentioned, does an injustice to the Autism community.

When we put so much effort into making sure that the person comes before the disorder, we give the impression that there’s something wrong with being Autistic. In a day and age when the community is asking for acceptance and understanding, what message is the person first language sending the rest of the world?

Instead of doing what makes us more comfortable with Autism, why not let those who are actually Autistic be our guide?

Personally, I use the words interchangeably because they both mean the same thing to me. Depending on the context of the conversation, I might say my kids are Autistic. I might also sayI have three boys with Autism.

Having said that, I hardly ever use the word Autism or autistic in real life, unless I’m speaking about the condition.

When I introduce my kids, I say these are my kids, Gavin, Elliott and Emmett.

I just feel like we spend way too much time worrying about things that in the big picture, are that important. When you look back on your life are you going to be like, yeah, I feel great because I made sure that my son or daughter was never called Autistic? I would think that when you look back on your life, you would want to know that you did everything you could to give your child the brightest future possible.

When I look back on my life, I want to know that did everything I could for my kids and I did the things that really truly mattered.

Look, I respect the right of anyone to think and do what they feel is right. I don’t have to agree with you to give you that respect. I just want to create a dialog and see what everyone thinks.

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Apr 14 2012

#Autism:The Politically Correct Minefield


I wrote this back in December 2011 but I think it’s still very relevant.


What does wishing someone a “Merry Christmas” and saying “my child is Autistic” have in common?  Read on to find out.

Something has been bothering me lately and it’s time I sound off and speak my mind.  I apologize if I offend anyone with my opinions but they are what they are.

I’ve grown tired of all the political correctness police out there in the world today.

I fully understand that no one wants to be offend,  or worse offend someone else,  but it’s gotten out of control.

I noticed something this year.  I found myself wishing people a Happy Holidays instead of a Merry Christmas. I realized that last week and you know what,  it bothers me.

I also realized why I was doing that as well.

I have found that by wishing someone a Merry Christmas when they don’t celebrate Christmas,  is offensive to some people.  I have been yelled at a few times by people,  who were offended by what I thought was a kind gesture on my part.

The last thing in the world I wanted to do was upset someone by simply wishing them a Merry Christmas.

I eventually became afraid to say that for fear of the response I would get,  and to be completely honest with you,  that’s really sad. People say things like,  “by wishing me a Merry Christmas,  you’re being insensitive to my beliefs”. Really?  My intention was nothing short of wishing them well and it totally backfired.

Something similar happens in the Autism community as well and to be quite frank, I’ve grown tired of it.

Let me say that I’m speaking from my own,  personal experience here.  If you haven’t experienced what I’m going to talk about,  consider yourself lucky.

As my blog becomes more and more popular, I come in to contact with a great number of people. Most of these people are special needs parents themselves simply wanting to talk or share their experiences and I love hearing from them.

However,  this past year I have found a growing number of people that feel the need to correct my choice of words. I have been corrected by other special needs parents who seem hypersensitive and very easily offended by the use of the word Autistic.

For example,  during the course of a conversation I’ll say something like “my son is Autistic“.  These people feel the need to say something like “don’t you mean your son with Autism“.

Typically, I respond by saying,  “don’t they mean the same thing“.

When I’m corrected by these parents,  they explain that calling my child Autistic,  is offensive and degrading. By saying my son is Autistic,  I’m defining him by his diagnosis.

This is complete and utter nonsense in my opinion.

I mentioned the politically correct mine field earlier. This is what I meant.  You never know when things are going to blowup in your face.

To me,  whether I say Autistic or with Autism,  I am referring to the exact same thing.  They are both,  descriptive words used to describe a condition.  Neither of which I personally think are offensive.  Now,  if someone used the word “retard” or something similar,  that’s a completely different story.

I think that “retard” is deemed offensive by most people and rightfully so.

Why are some people so sensitive to the word Autistic when I’ve spoken to many adults on the Spectrum who actually prefer the word Autistic and don’t find it offensive in the least.

I think it’s important to remember that whether you use the word Autistic or with Autism,  it doesn’t change the reality of the situation.

To be completely honest,  when you put so much negative weight on a single word like,  Autistic,  you can give the impression that there is something wrong with being Autistic as it means the same as with Autism.

The reality is, that the challenge,  joy and heartache of raising my 3 amazing boys on the spectrum is not impacted,  one way or the other by my use of the word Autistic. I would imagine that most people would find that they have the same experience,  regardless of their word choice.

We are approaching a new year and so we have a chance for a new beginning.  Let’s take advantage of that opportunity and embrace what makes us different instead being divided by them.

The next time someone wishes you a Merry Christmas -when you don’t celebrate it- why not just say thank you,  instead of correcting them.  It was likely that the person was trying to wish you well and had no intention of offending you.

Likewise,  the next time you find yourself in a conversation with someone and they refer to their child as being Autistic instead of with Autism,  why not just finish the conversation instead of correcting their choice of words. You may find that you learn something.

I’m of the opinion that we are better when united,  despite our differences, instead of being divided by them.

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