Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

Tag Archive: say

Dec 21 2012

What were we thinking moving Gavin home?


I wanted to keep you all updated on how Gavin has been doing since moving home earlier this week.

For those of you new to my blog, Gavin was moved out of the house about 2 months ago for behavioral reasons, and moved into his Grandparents house.

Gavin had been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder along with about a dozen other things, all serious. However, at this point in time, the RAD is the most serious of the mental health issues we are dealing with.

Gavin has become very, very volatile.


We were experiencing massive, house shaking tantrums upto several times a day. The other boys were terrified and Gavin, having no conscience, simply doesn’t care.

Gavin lacks the capacity to truly feel empathy for anyone and make or maintain healthy relationships. He’s lacking the needed neurological connections for that to be possible. 

Having said that, he’s very well socialized and so he knows the right things to say, but there is a big difference between meaning what you say and just knowing what to say.

As you can imagine, that makes things very challenging.

However, this week Gavin had to return to the hospital for an autonomic crisis, one of his many health problems. His brain does not control his autonomic functions properly and so he has to be very closely monitored.

Gavin had missed several weeks of one of his medications and was not always adhering to the very strict, vitally necessary regime, set forth by the experts at the Cleveland Clinic. This is what eventually led to his recent crisis.  There is very little room for error when it comes to his health and it’s an overwhelmingly daunting task.

After talking with his doctors, Lizze and in decided that he needed to move back home. It’s the only way that we can ensure that everything is done.  We have to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he has his meds and does not stray from what was set out by his doctors.

The only way we can do this is by having firsthand knowledge of Gavin‘s day to day activities. The only way we can have that knowledge is by moving him home.

Aside from his health and safety, this is extremely important because until he’s medically stable, he can’t enter into residential treatment and get the help that he so desperately needs.

We are so incredibly grateful to Lizze’s parents for allowing him to live with them, and my parents for picking him up from school every day. Without the help of our families, I do think know of we would have made it this far.

At this junction, Gavin has been home for 2 full days.

He’s been doing pretty well and to ensure that he continues to behave, we are implementing a very ridged routine that will help him to make better choices. A huge thanks goes out to his principle at school for helping put this routine together. 

I should also thank wraparound for continuing to help us reach our goal of getting Gavin into residential treatment.

This is a very long and difficult journey and we’ve already been on it for almost 13 years now.

All we can do is our best for Gavin, while ensuring the best interests and safety of his brothers.  If he becomes too dangerous once again, we’ll have to figure something else out.  However, for right now, this is the only option we have. 

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Dec 20 2012

Companionship for a child with #autism


Even before I know of what #autism was and certainly before my kids were diagnosed, I had this one wish for them. 

Maybe this will sound weird to some people out there and maybe I’m just a dork, but here it goes. 
I grew up with a dog for most of my life.

I was fortunate enough to experience how that kind of companionship can make a child feel like.  I know how it made me feel.  I found comfort and unconditional love in our dog Dusty.

When I had children of my own, that was one of the things I wanted for them. Whether it was a dog or a cat, a fish or a bird, it didn’t matter to me.  I wanted my kids to have the bond,  that connection with another living thing. 

It has taken awhile but I can finally say that Elliott has discovered that with his kitten, Dean (although we do have a name change but that’s a different post).

When Elliott is sad, he snuggles Dean. 

At bedtime, Dean sleeps with him for most of the night.  Dean actually seeks Elliott out and looks for his attention.  It’s amazing.

I’m so grateful for that. 

Has your life or the life of your child been impacted by a special animal??


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Dec 16 2012

Helping a child with #autism cope with loss


How do you explain death to a young child with #Autism?

Rouge, my very first dog is going to be put down today. Elliott and Emmett were really close to her and so we felt that we should give them the chance to say goodbye. 

Emmett doesn’t understand but Elliott, poor Elliott is devastated.

I’m trying to comfort him as best I can.

Please keep her and Elliott in your thoughts and prayers. 


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Dec 16 2012

I took a trip back in time


I got a call from my Dad this morning.  He was letting me know that he thinks my old dog had a stroke last night. I got Rogue back in 2000 right before I started paramedic school.

When I met Lizze and moved out, Rogue stayed behind because they didn’t want to part with her. 
Sadly, I suspect that she will be put to rest on Monday. She’s in really bad shape and has lost control over the right side of her body over night. She basically falls over when she trys to walk and is drooling uncontrollably. 

She seems completely disoriented and has stopped eating as well.

She’s 13 years old and at this point, her quality of life is not very high. Honestly, I would suspect that she’s too old to really recovery from something like this. 

I spent some time over there this morning and reminisced about when I first brought her home from work and went for a walk down memory lane.

It’s sad because she was a big part of my life for a very long gone time and was my first dog.

You hate to say goodbye but no one ever said that doing the right thing was easy. I suppose that we will know more for sure in the morning when the vet opens.  I will say that I take comfort in the fact that she doesn’t appear to be in any pain at all.

December is turning out to be a pretty crappy month. 

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Dec 14 2012

Use your words


I thought this was pretty funny.  This morning, I walked into the house from our meeting and apparently forgot to feed the tortoise before leaving. 

Needless to say, he didn’t look very happy with me as he sat there waiting for Mr to feed him. 

I thought use your words made a pretty good caption.  Do you have a better one?

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Dec 04 2012

#Autism, #Anxiety and Tenex: Pulling the plug


So we had our appointment with Dr.  Reynolds yesterday.  The main discussion centered around Elliott and how’s he’s doing on the anti-anxiety medication Tenex.

We went over all of our concerns and ultimately decided, with Dr.  Reynolds, to pull the plug on the Tenex. 

He will have to be weened off over the next 10 days.

We are also going to play around with his ADHD medication and see if it’s really benefiting him at all. 

When I say playing around, I just mean withholding it for a few days and see how he does.  This medication is very fast acting and can be started or stopped at any point. 

Hopefully, we can balance Elliott out and help him to get some traction once again. 

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Nov 26 2012

Stop Relax and Think: Review and Giveaway


Recently I had the unique opportunity to take a look at another, unique board game called Stop, Relax & Think. This game is from Childswork/Childsplay.

This game is geared towards special needs children and focuses on impulsivity.

In this game, active, children with impulse control issues can learn motor

control, skills to help them relax, how to express their feelings as well as problem-solve. The instructions included in this game also provide information about how this game can be used as both a diagnostic and a treatment tool.

The players answer questions that are designed to make them stop and think, hence the game title.

An example of these questions are as follows:

You think you have more and harder chores than your sister. You don‘t think this is fair. What can you do?


You don‘t understand how to do your math homework and no one is around to help.

As with the previous game I tested and reviewed, I don‘t know that this is meant for home use. I can see this doing very well in a more therapeutic environment.

My kids are considered highly intelligent but they couldn’t really get into this game. As the instructions suggest, you really need some type of moderator to facilitate game play and help with the questions.

Having said that, as with my previous review, this game would be fantastic in a school or clinical setting. In fact, we actually donated the last game to our kids speech therapist and we will do the same with this one as well.

Our speech therapist was so excited to receive this game and it’s something she could use in therapy sessions.

In my experience and opinion, using this game in a more therapeutic environment makes way more sense than using this in the home, especially with younger kids like Elliott and Emmett.

That doesn’t mean that your child wouldn’t benefit from this at home. I think that my kids are maybe a little bit to young.

This would benefit the right people, in the right environment. It’s just not for us, in the home environment..

I will be giving one of these games away. Even if you don‘t think you could use this yourself, win this for your school or local therapist. It’s easy to enter and fun to win.  

This giveaway will run today, November 27, 2012 through midnight, December 5, 2012.

This would make a great gift for a special needs teacher or therapist. With the holidays right around the corner, now is the perfect time to snag gifts like this. Besides, who doesn’t like free?

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