Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

Tag Archive: pattie

Jan 10 2012

Interview number 2


The 2nd part of our Canton Repository interview will take place tonight. The reporter is going to meet with Dr. Pattie and myself tonight.

This will provide verification of everything.

This is a positive thing because even putting this fundraiser aside, this could help to spread Autism Awareness in a city solely lacking it.

Hopefully, things will go well and we can all connect tonight.

I’ll let you all know how it goes.

Please wish me luck :-)

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Nov 30 2011

Sexually Agressive Addressed


I had my meeting with Dr.  Pattie last night and we let the boys play while I got her up to speed.  I explained all of what was going on and we discussed how best to handle it. 

We decided that my idea of catching Gavin off guard was the best approach. 

We sat the boys down and Dr.  Pattie asked Elliott to explain what had happened.  Elliott very calmly explained what happened and how it made him feel.  Meanwhile, Gavin is freaking out and winding up for a big meltdown.
During this time,  Elliott just started talking about all the things that Gavin does to him that upsets him. 

Gavin,  at first,  denied everything.  However,  his response confirmed what Elliott was saying. 

Gavin was given a chance to talk but he just started yelling at his chair.  I removed Gavin from the conversation and made him sit on his hands and with his legs crossed.  I did this,  as I always do,  because his hands and feet are not safe when he gets this upset.  It keeps him from hurting those around him.  As soon as he has regained control,  he was invited back into the conversation..

Once he rejoined the rest of us,  the conversation turned to him.  We explained that when you get to be older,  you cannot just touch people because you want to.  We don’t kiss on the lips and certainly not without permission. 
We instituted a new rule. When you get to be Gavin’s age,  you need to ask permission before making physical contact with anyone.  Any physical contact with his brothers will be done in a supervised manner. 

Then we talked about all the really good things about Gavin,  of which there are many. 

The conversation ended on a good note and I’m hoping that,  in conjunction with the medications increase,  this will be enough to correct this behavior. 

Everyone seems to be doing alright this morning,  so hopefully,  we can move forward.

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Oct 19 2011

It’s about freakin’ time


Sometimes it’s the little things that make me feel accomplished.  For some people it’s money, power, advancement ect.

I’m pretty down to earth and my expectations are more…realistic.With that said,  I managed to pull something off today that I have been struggling with for several months.

What’s that you might ask?  Well let me tell you.

I have been playing Angry Birds Rio since its release earlier this year.  I have this thing with Angry Birds that I need to get 3 stars on every level before I can move on to the next. Well,  I have been stuck on level 5-11 of Beach Volleyball for about 3 months now.

I managed to get 2 stars a few weeks ago but have been stuck ever since.  I played every day but got now where.

That was, until last night.  I was playing a quick round while the boys were hanging with Dr.  Pattie.  The first dozen tries were met with the usual failure.  However,  I found the strength to fling those Angry Birds one more time.

Gavin must have sensed something truly amazing was about to take place.  He was standing behind me as the results came in.  One star….Two stars….Three stars…  Gavin and I were both elated at this momentous victory.  We both forgot our inside voices for a brief moment as we celebrated with a few heck yeah’s,  soon followed by some fist pumping and some more screaming.

Man,  this was a great evening. Now on to the next level :-D


– Lost and Tired

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Oct 18 2011

Another night of therapy


Tuesday night in the Lost and Tired house means…therapy.
Since Tuesday has found us once again, we have found ourselves at therapy tonight.

I have Gavin and Elliott with me at Dr.  Pattie’s and Lizze is chillin’ with Emmett at home. Elliott is playing PlayDoh with Dr.  Pattie and talking about school.  Gavin is playing corn hole. 

It’s really a great time for the boys and Dr.  Pattie is really good at what she does.  Elliott is getting help and doesn’t even realize it.  ;-)

I love. Tuesday nights.. I just wish we didn’t have to make it through Monday to get there.


– Lost and Tired

Posted by WordPress for Android via Samsungs Epic Touch 4G (provided to me at no charge by Sprint) without the use of proper editing tools and disadvantages of a bastardized version of auto-correct. So please forgive the spelling ;-)

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Sep 01 2011

Surviving a meltdown


I have alot of new readers so I would like to preffice this video with a few things. As a father to 3 boys on the Autism Spectrum, my wife and I have been dealing with meltdowns for over a decade. For a very long time we kept these very private because we didn’t want anyone to think poorly of our kids, or really at the time, Gavin. This came a cost. No one ever really witnessed these but us and maybe the teachers, doctors and therapists. 

Our families had very little idea of what we were dealing with and really how could they. We spent a great deal of time and energy hiding our daily struggles. When they would us say, Gavin’s having a meltdown, they would equate that with the types of meltdowns they themselves, experienced as young parents. The problem is that the meltdowns we experienced were in a completely different league. No matter how we explained it, no one could truly understand until they witnessed them first hand.  Even our seasoned psychologist, Dr. Pattie has said many times, “if I hadn’t witnessed it first hand, I would never have believed it”. 

With that said, I want to explain why I share these videos. I truly believe the best way to spread Autism Awareness and help people to have much better understanding of what Autism is like to at least my family, is if I open up a window into our lives. By doing this people can see first hand some of the struggles we face as special needs parents. When a person in the general public hears someone refer to their ASD child having a meltdown, they have no idea what that translates to in real life.

By sharing these videos people can see exactly what these meltdowns can entail. Something very important to remember is that every child on the spectrum is different. This means that meltdowns can very in many ways from person to person. I want to make sure that is understood. 

I also want to make very clear that this is not meant to make Gavin look bad. In fact, I’m actually very proud of Gavin because this is the first meltdown he has had in a few months. It was bound to happen at some point and today was the day.

Surviving a meltdown

This afternoon Gavin had a pretty major meltdown. This is actually the first one we have really seen since July. However, today Gavin hurled a large magnetic rock at Elliott and hit him on the back of the hand, leaving a large welt. Elliott was screaming in pain, as it looks like it really hurt. I had Gavin jumping up and down starting to freak out. I also happened to be home by myself with all the boys at the time when this took place.

Gavin made a less then good choice when he decided to throw the rock at Elliott. Even though Gavin has many challenges in life, there are consequences for his actions and in Gavin’s case, that typically entails replacing his next meal with oatmeal. I know that sounds weird but it’s the only thing that works with him and I’m not going to delve into the background on that at the moment.

You can feel free to search the term “oatmeal” in the side bar and read more about that.

Gavin hasn’t had to have oatmeal in a few months and so he lost it. He’s not so much upset by the oatmeal itself but more upset that he’s being held accountable for his actions. Anyway. Gavin went into a full on meltdown and I managed to get him into his room and away from the other boys who were terrified and trying to hide from him. Elliott ran downstairs and turned on a movie for him and Emmett in order to drown out the screaming. I went into Gavin’s room and began trying to help him through it. I have to be very direct with Gavin or he doesn’t respond. So if I sound callous that’s simply because that’s the best approach with Gavin.

This wasn’t easy because Emmett came up and wouldn’t leave my side because he wanted to make sure I was okay. Trying to manage a meltdown of this caliber and to other kids by yourself is no easy task.

I record these for a few reasons, as I stated above. However, since Gavin has been self-injuring to the degree he has been this summer, I document what happens so I can show the anyone that would question what happened. It also helps the doctors to better understand what we are seeing at home as well. Something to note is that we very seldom physically intervene because he’s trying to get a reaction from us much of the time and intervening would give him what he wants. ALL of the doctors have said to supervise at most and only intervene if a life threatening situation presents itself.

This particular meltdown is very mild  in comparison to what we are actually used to with Gavin. Gavin deserves full credit for that. Even though he had the meltdown, he regained his composure in about 10 minutes (which is really quick because these can sometimes last an hour or so) and made the choice not to seriously hurt himself. I’m very proud of this because you can see him struggling with wanting to hurt himself but he choose not to.

This might sound really weird but I really think this is progress. Clearly not perfect but I’m not after perfect and I’ll take a meltdown like this any day of the week over the kind that see him admitted to Akron Children’s Hospital for a few days.

I hope this helps to illustrate what a meltdown can be like for an ASD child. I also hope this gives you a better idea of what many special needs parents are dealing with when they say meltdown.

Just for the record, I’m far from perfect as I’m sure you can hear in the video. All I can do is the best I can, learn and move on.

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Aug 31 2011

Elliott officially has asthma


Elliott had is very first visit to the immunologist today.  One other reasons he was referred there was of the unusual amount of respiratory infections he gets each winter.  There was concern that asthma was involved.

So today we had the pulmonary testing done.  Turns out Elliott has asthma and that is the likely explanation for the respiratory infections.  He now has 2 inhalers and a slew of new instructions.

The other,  much less pleasant part was the actual allergy testing.  We opted to test via bloodwork instead of the scratch test.  He needed bloodwork anyway,  so this was less traumatic….at least in theory. Elliott was an emotional wreck the whole time we were there and all morning leading up to the appointment. He has really been struggling with change lately.

Elliott was so cute though, because as we were walking done the hall to the room,  he noticed that he was walking down a hall way filled with automatic hand sanitizer dispensers. He couldn’t believe it.  He was in heaven.  It was so stinkin’ adorable. He even posed by the one in the room.  I just think it’s amazing that he found that much comfort from something that simple.

Now, of course,  we have to have one of those dispensers in our house cause you don’t actually have to touch it. Not sure how to get that or where to really look.

On a side note,  I spoke with Dr.  Pattie last night about the subject of his handwashing.  She said to let it go for now because he is experiencing so much anxiety with everything,  especially the school change.  This simple act provides him with a great deal of comfort.

That’s actually the stance I have been taking anyway.  He feels ashamed that he has to wash his hands all the time and I don’t want him feeling that.  So I make sure he knows that it’s okay with us and that he has nothing to be ashamed of or be embarrassed about.
This is something that he will hopefully work through as things start to slow down for him. If not then we will have to help him more directly but for now it’s okay and I want to sure he knows that.


– Lost and Tired

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Jul 26 2011

One of those days


One of those days. That about sums it up. Today has just been nonstop appointment after appointment. 

Lizze had therapy in the morning then Emmett had speech and OT. I got a call while Emmett was in therapy this morning for computer repair.  So after Emmett was done I had to to pick up the laptop,  get the parts at Best Buy and then fix it. 

I got the whole thing done in 3 hours.  I dropped it back off and got home in time to get the kids to Lizze’s mom so we could meet with Dr.  Pattie tonight.

The kids just just got home Lizze is getting Emmett in bed and I’m letting the boys play XBOX for a few minutes before bedtime. 

As soon as I get the boys down I need to try to squeeze in 2 miles tonight before bed. 

Hopefully,  tomorrow will be a bit slower. 

– Lost and Tired

Post by WordPress for Android via Nexus S 4G without the use of proper editing tools and disadvantages of a bastardized version of auto-correct.

Please Vote for Lost and Tired (just click the link) and help me spread Autism Awareness. Everyone can Vote once a day :) Registered & Protected

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