Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

Tag Archive: patience

Jun 26 2012

Testing the upper limits of my patience


I’ve been up all of 10 minutes and the boys are already driving me friggin crazy. Elliott is whining and Gavin is endlessly digging through the Lego bin.

Emmett is busy bullying Elliott which just perpetuates the whining.

Lizze and I have said this countless times,  while each of our kids are challenging in their own right,  it’s the combination of all their behaviors and sensory issues that is what makes life in the Lost and Tired household.

Today is going to be one of those days where the upper limit of my patience. I’m already stressed out to the max with Gavin‘s EEG coming up on Friday. Being without Lizze for 5 days is going to be very difficult.  I also worry about the toll this will take on her as. well.

Something else I really stressing about is how Gavin is going to handle this. The last time he sat for this long had very serious consequences.  He ended up being admitted for a few days because he could no longer maintain his own blood pressure. He was left unable to stand without passing out.

I hate being this stressed out.  :-(

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

Please join our Autism Help Forum

Look for “Autism Help” app at the Google Play Store Registered & Protected

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.

Permanent link to this article:

Jun 16 2012

Father of the year I am not


It’s almost Father’s Day and I have run out of patience. Emmett is just beginning a new fever flare,  Elliott is constantly reporting to us and Gavin isn’t listening.

At times like this I realize that I have very real limitations.  I don’t know know why that bothers me so much,  but it does.

People seem to think that I’m some great role model and I just don’t see it.  I should have more patience with my boys.  They deserve more patience than I have to offer them. Especially when it comes to Gavin. 

I have a shorter fuse when it comes to Gavin because it’s always something. Maybe he doesn’t know what he’s doing and maybe he does.  Either way Gavin’s behavioral choices are like a black hole in the sense that nothing can escape it, even my patience. Maybe that’s a bad analogy.

I guess my point is that while the world is celebrating Father’s Day,  I feel like I don’t deserve it.

There are so many things that I need to do better and so much more time I need to give to my boys. It’s really frustrating for me to see that despite my attempts to do best by my family,  I so often miss the mark.

I’m not perfect and believe me,  I know I’m not. Even still,  I tend to set expectations for myself that I can rarely ever live up to. I’m very hard on myself and quite unforgiving as well. However,  in my mind it’s justified because my family deserves so much more than what I have been able to do.

I don’t know,  maybe today is just a bad day. I’m feeling more depressed than normal. I hate correcting Gavin so much and it makes me feel cruel and unfair, even though we are doing what we are supposed to be doing.  I just wish I could have one day of really good choices and we could all just enjoy the peace and harmony before being slapped back to reality with another meltdown.

This is one of those posts where I don’t know how much sense it will actually make to my readers. It’s more like an internal dialog with myself that I have written down. 

Does that make sense?

Here’s to a better afternoon….

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

Please join our Autism Help Forum

Look for “Autism Help” app at the Google Play Store Registered & Protected

Posted from WordPress for Android so please forgive the auto-correct induced typos

Permanent link to this article:

Jun 06 2012

Undergoing maintenance


I’m experiencing tech issues at the moment. The site will be usable but may see some widgets or pages disappear temporarily.


Thank you for your patience

Permanent link to this article:

May 24 2012



Patience is a word used to describe how long one can cope with a certain situation. Wikipedia defines patience as:

Patience (or forbearing) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can take before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast

As a special needs parent I use the word patience many, many times a day. I’m always asking God for more patience because I seem to spend my allotted amount fairly quickly. It’s not like I have an abundance of patience just burning a hole in my pocket. It’s that I spend it on my kids.

I look at patience as a form of currency. Much like money is required to pay bills and provide for my family’s ever growing physical needs, patience is required in order to meet my family’s other needs.

In exchange for patience, I can spend time with my children in a calm, loving and productive way. Sometimes the time spent can cost a great deal more patience than others. Much the same way I struggle financially with money, I struggle emotionally with patience.

No matter what I do or how hard I try, life requires more patience than I have to spend. I find myself having to budget my patience much like I budget my paycheck. I only ever have enough to devote to the highest priorities in my life.

At times it’s really difficult to choose where to spend my limited patience each day because there are so many people, places and things demanding it.

It goes without saying that not everyone will be on the receiving end of my patience.

I suppose I should apologize in advance because if you’re reading this then you are likely not very high on the priority list as far as how and when I spend my patience. Truth be told, damn near every ounce of patience I have is budgeted to be spent on my children.

Much the same way that I spend every dime I have providing for my wife and kids, they are also the primary beneficiary of my patience.
Until the day that I can hit a drive-thru and pick up a super sized helping of patience to replenish what I have spent, it’s likely to remain the same.

So if we ever cross paths and I don’t have a lot of patience to give you, please remember that’s it’s likely because I was spending time with my kids and gave it all to them. :-)



Permanent link to this article:

May 14 2012

Every day is a trial of patience


My kids are really,  really trying my patience.  Emmett was in a mood already this morning,  however,  upon Elliott arriving home this afternoon the screaming began.

Lizze had two appointments that basically lasted all afternoon. I had all three boys for most of the day and have become a Daddy on the edge.

Emmett either doesn’t or can’t listen,  I’m not sure which.  Elliott really struggles with Emmett and the combination of the two is quite volatile. Gavin on the other hand,  has been very well behaved and actually quite helpful.

I can’t wait for the day to be over,  the kids to be in bed and all the work I need to get done tonight is finished.

I’m trying to make arrangements for this week with Emmett because we are going to be out of town several times with Gavin. I remembered a little bit ago that Gavin has his antibody infusion on Friday.

My head is pounding and if I was a drinker,  which I’m not,  I’d be lining them up tonight.

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

Please join our Autism Help Forum

Look for “Autism Help” app at the Google Play Store Registered & Protected

Permanent link to this article:

May 05 2012

Does this make me a bad person?


In the Lost and Tired family, we don’t believe in spanking or hitting.  So we have to do a lot of outside of the box thinking.

We recently took in a puppy a couple of months ago. Bella has been a great edition to the Lost and Tired family. Although she doesn’t require some patience and training.

Elliott and Emmett are requiring a great deal of time, energy and most of all, patience.  I’m becoming increasingly overwhelmed and frustrated by their behavior. Their are both fanfreakingtastic kids and I love them completely.

Having said that, sometimes I find myself wanting to use the training methods from Bella as a means of deterring the problem behavior with the boys.

Basically,  it would go something like this.  When Emmett and Elliott were fighting or doing something else they should not be doing,  I would break out the spray bottle and squirt them.  They both hate getting wet so I think it would work.  The question is whether of not there is ethical issue with that :-)

Of course,  I’m not actually going to do that but sometimes I wish I could.

When the boys start fighting, I could simply squirt,  squirt and they would stop. Then I could keep the squirt bottle on the mantel to serve as a reminder.

Like I said, sometimes I just want things to stop and employing methods like a squirt gun or spray bottle don’t always seem so wrong..

Anyone else ever feel this way?

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

Please join our Autism Help Forum

Look for “Autism Help” app at the Google Play Store Registered & Protected

Permanent link to this article:

Mar 18 2012

#Autism, Anxiety and Risperdal: Day 5


We have hit day 5 of Elliott being on Risperdal and are having mixed results. So far,  some days have been better than others.  Overall,  I would say that his anxiety is reduced and I think that’s fairly obvious?

We have been seeing the whining and anxiousness rearing it’s ugly little head again. 

However,  I have to say that Elliott has been much,  much more cooperative and pleasant to be around.  It’s notbthat he was ever unpleasant,  it’s just the whining was like water that slowly eroded away my patience and sanity.

The biggest change thus far is the fact that he seems to be happier.  Before he was always worried about something and now he just seems more relaxed.

It does my heart good to see him happier.  He deserves to be happy and I’m thrilled that we are heading back in that direction.  :-)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Permanent link to this article:

Older posts «

Switch to our mobile site