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Tag Archive: night

Dec 19 2012

Do you ever feel that you just can’t win??

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My thoughts

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December 19, 2012

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Do you ever feel that you can’t win? Like, no matter what you do or how hard you try, you’re gonna lose?

I’m having one of those days today. 

I’ve been battling with the bank because they allowed a $1,200 check go thru when there was only $2.43 available. This is really bad but there’s not much I can do now, so freaking out, isn‘t going to help.

I’m trying to do this whole Operation Hope thing, as well as keep Gavin’s health stable.

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Gavin moving home has stirred things up, even though he’s doing well right now. Lizze didn’t sleep at all last night and is in a great deal of pain today.  Although, to her credit, she pushing through it. 

Christmas is less than a week away and I swear to God, if I had any hair left, I’d be ripping it out right now.

I’d moved this site to Blue Host because they were supposed to be the best. I’ve had more downtime since switching than I ever had previously. I was down for awhile last night and I’m pretty sure my email isn‘t working right. So if you’ve sent me an email, and I haven’t responded, that’s why.

Anyway, for me personally, I feel like I just can’t win. It feels like the cards are stacked against me and there’s little or nothing that I can do about it. 

I try to be positive but goddammit, I’m finding that harder and harder to do anymore.

Do you ever feel like you can’t win for trying?

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Dec 17 2012

Elliott slept well last night

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Dean, Elliott

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December 17, 2012

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Elliott slept pretty well last night. He snuggled with Dean and slept through the night. Dean and Sam have been rather elusive lately and so he was happy to be reunited with his friend.

Perhaps that helped to make today begin on a positive note. 

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Dec 16 2012

I took a trip back in time

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My thoughts

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December 16, 2012

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I got a call from my Dad this morning.  He was letting me know that he thinks my old dog had a stroke last night. I got Rogue back in 2000 right before I started paramedic school.

When I met Lizze and moved out, Rogue stayed behind because they didn’t want to part with her. 
Sadly, I suspect that she will be put to rest on Monday. She’s in really bad shape and has lost control over the right side of her body over night. She basically falls over when she trys to walk and is drooling uncontrollably. 

She seems completely disoriented and has stopped eating as well.

She’s 13 years old and at this point, her quality of life is not very high. Honestly, I would suspect that she’s too old to really recovery from something like this. 

I spent some time over there this morning and reminisced about when I first brought her home from work and went for a walk down memory lane.

It’s sad because she was a big part of my life for a very long gone time and was my first dog.

You hate to say goodbye but no one ever said that doing the right thing was easy. I suppose that we will know more for sure in the morning when the vet opens.  I will say that I take comfort in the fact that she doesn’t appear to be in any pain at all.

December is turning out to be a pretty crappy month. 

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Nov 29 2012

Whats wrong with this picture?

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Bella, Elliott, Fun and Funny

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November 29, 2012

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Last night I went to check on Elliott before go to bed.  This is what I found.  Can you see what’s wrong with this picture?

Let me give you a clue.  It’s not so much what’s wrong but what’s missing.

When I went to tuck my 6 year old son Elliott, this is what I found.  What’s missing? That’s simple, Elliott. In Elliott‘s place was Emmett’s dog Bella. 

Apparently, she had kicked Elliott out of his own bed last night. 

Bella is one of those dogs that likes to really snuggle.  Sometimes she doesn‘t realize that she takes you so much room.  She means well but is struggling with boundaries. Ironically, that may need why she fits in so well.  :-)

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Nov 26 2012

What are the odds?

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My thoughts

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November 26, 2012

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Last night I was cooking dinner.  We we’re having real eggs, toast and some leftover steak from the other night. I said real eggs because we normally use egg whites instead.
Anyway, out of the dozen eggs that we’re in the carton, at least 6 of them had two yolks.
These were supposed to be free range chickens, if that matters.

In my entire life, I’ve only seen twin yolks maybe twice.  However, last night, the first half dozen or so eggs that I cracked open were twins. What are the odds of that happening?

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In the picture above, you can see the last 2 twin yolk eggs I found last night.

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Permanent link to this article: http://lostandtired.com/2012/11/26/what-are-the-odd/

Jul 28 2012

The green eyed monster

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Autism

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July 28, 2012

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I’ve been meaning to write this for some time now.  For some reason, I just never got around to it.

I was reminded recently and have decided to share this with you all now. 

Over the past few weeks,  I’ve driven back and forth to Akron Children’s Hospital countless times.  Gavin’s been hospitalized 3 times in the last month or two.  During each stay,  I had to drive through downtown Akron on a Friday night. 

I love my family and wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world but goddamn if I’m not jealous of all the people I saw having fun on a Friday night. I remember those days,  although truthfully,  the memories are becoming more and more fuzzy. I miss having friends and going out on the weekends.  I miss being able to unwind behind the handle of a tall,  draft beer.

From my car window,  it seems like they are all having so much fun. 

There was a time before all of this that I was one of those people.  I went out at night and chilled with friends. 

When Lizze and I were dating,  we would go out as often as we could. At some point,  the time and distance between nights out, increased to a point that I don‘t even remember the last time we had a nice dinner and went to a movie. It’s sad, really. 

Through the window of my car,  everyone looks happy and carefree.  I realize that from a distance the grass always looks greener but I guess I don‘t necessarily envy their lives but instead their freedom to be where they are.

Does that make sense?

I don‘t want their lives,  but sometimes it would be nice to have a sense of normalcy.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve been bit by the green eyed monster.  I just get tired of all the drama,  trauma,  screaming and fighting. It would be nice if things would just slow down for a little while. 

Do any of you ever feel the same way?

I would never trade my life for anyone else’s but that doesn’t mean I don‘t wish I could incorporate a bit more freedom and fun into mine. 

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

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This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.

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Permanent link to this article: http://lostandtired.com/2012/07/28/the-green-eyed-monster/

Jul 03 2012

My back is out

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Autism

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July 3, 2012

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I woke up this morning and I can barely stand up.  My back has gone out and I’m in so much pain I’m sick to my stomach.

I walked last night and perhaps that’s what happened.

All I know is I hope to God this goes way fast because I can’t take this.

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

Please join our Autism Help Forum

Look for “Autism Help” app at the Google Play Store

MyFreeCopyright.com Registered & Protected

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.

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Permanent link to this article: http://lostandtired.com/2012/07/03/my-back-is-out/

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