Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

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Mar 29 2013

Reactive attachment disorder and losing a family member


While picking Elliott up from school yesterday, I ran into the school counselor, who happens to be on our Wraparound team.

She wanted to pass along her condolences for our family’s loss. She went on to explain that Gavin was in group and was sharing with everyone that someone in his family had died this week.

First of all, I think it’s great that they have group at our school and secondly, I think it’s even better that Gavin seemed to have opened up and shared what had happened with everyone in his group.

I have personally spoken with Gavin about this while he was home this week. He doesn’t seem to have any feelings about this, one way or the other. You could say he was ambivalent to the fact that someone has died.

He did ask me if I felt sorry for Lizze’s Aunt Paula because she died. I told him that I’m personally sad to have lost her but I don’t feel sorry for her. She was suffering tremendously and is not at peace and if anything, while I miss her, I’m happy that she’s in a place where she doesn’t have to hurt anymore.

He just said “okay” and that was that.

It’s so hard to tell where he’s coming from and I have no idea how this loss is affecting him, if at all.

When you think about the Aspie side of him, he may not know how or what to feel. Factoring in the reactive attachment side of him, he may simply lack the capacity to have any emotion about this, period.

As uncomfortable and disconcerting as it is to know that your child doesn’t really care about anything that doesn’t impact him directly, I would imagine that it’s disconcerting for him as well…..or not. Who knows?

I do know that he loves his family to the very best of his ability.

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Dec 16 2012

Why we will never return to @PetSmart


Let me clarify something. My personal choice to not shop at Pet Smart, is just that, my personal choice. I’m not asking, suggesting or even hinting that anyone else should follow suit.

I also know that this very likely isn’t how Pet Smart does business usually.

Having said that, this was in fact our experience, inside the Banfield Animal Hospital that is located inside of Pet Smart. If nothing else, In would think that Pet Smart would want to know that this occurred so that they can ensure it doesn’t happen to another family.

This blog is all about my family’s personal experiences. This is one of those experiences and it greatly affected us, therefore I feel it’s does belong here.

Again, I’m simply sharing why I personally, will not return to Pet Smart. What you or anyone else does is up to you and everyone else.

Today we put to rest the very first dog I ever owned. Her name was Rogue and she was with me on the day I met Lizze. Until I was writing this, I had forgotten about that.

Rogue was almost 13 years old and suffered what we believe was a stroke today.

With it being a Sunday, all the other Vet clinics are closed so we made an appointment to have her seen at the animal hospital inside of Pet Smart. We had called ahead to make sure that they were equipped to handle it should she need to be euthanized.

We were told that they could handle a situation like this and so we scheduled an appointment at 4pm.

A bunch of us brought her in to the North Canton, Ohio (Belden Village Area) location, because we knew this was going to be goodbye.

This is where everything went downhill.

The woman at the front desk was named Becky.  She was very unpleasant and showed little compassion for us right from the start. We were put into a room where we basically waited for well over an hour to be seen by the Vet.

A tech came in at one point and that was the only communication we had with anyone until the vet came into the room.

We all waited knowing full well what was going to happen but it was taking forever and no one stopped in to check on us or explain the significant delay.

Everyone was very emotional because Rogue was a member of the Lost and Tired family.

At one point, Lizze walked up to Becky in an attempt to get some tissues.  Lizze was crying and Becky, showing not an ounce of decency ignored her and took a call and began explaining insurance options to someone on the other end.  All while Lizze was standing there crying, trying to get her attention.

What was so hard about acknowledging her presence and asking if she could help or simply find out what she needed?

I was very offended by her lack of compassion and honestly questioned why she was allowed contact with people in the first place.  We all noted her poor treatment of us.

When the Vet finally came in to see Rogue, it was decided that it was best to end her suffering and put her to rest.

The Vet and her actual techs showed us a great deal of compassion and respect.  We were all very grateful for that. Unfortunately, Becky’s demeanor was more than enough to make an already difficult situation that much more difficult.

They asked us to leave the room so the could start the line needed to administer the fatal medication.

As we gathered outside the door waiting to say our final goodbyes and be by her side and she went to sleep for the final time, we were all crying.

It was at that point that Becky took it upon herself to collect payment for the visit and medications associated with what hadn’t even happened yet.  I asked her if she could just give us a few minutes as the procedure hadn’t taken place yet.

She replied that they needed paid in full before they would continue with the procedure. I was really taken aback by this and not only offended but angered as well.

I wanted to know why she was trying to collect monies now before anything had even happened.  How often do you pay the vet before the visit?

She kept pushing and again I asked why she was handling us in this manner and why she was showing us no compassion. She replied that it was company policy to collect payment prior to the visits.

It was at that point that I said I hope that some of what they were charging us went to sensitivity training.

My Dad paid the bill and then we went back into the room to be with our dear friend as she passed on.

I don’t know what else to say about this experience. This was very painful for all of us and the treatment we received from Becky only made it more so.  It’s for this reason that Lizze and I have decided not to give Pet Smart our business any longer.

I understand that everyone has a bad day but would it have killed her to show an ounce of compassion to a family that was grieving?

We have had to put down pets in the past and the experience was completely different. Perhaps this is just what you get for seeking help from an animal clinic at Pet Smart.

Pet Smart, I realize that you won’t even notice the loss of our business. However we will know that you no longer have it and that will have to be enough for now.


This picture was taken because the boys wanted a picture with her before we left for the vet’s. They are both really sad but Elliott is devastated as he really loved Rogue and is such a sensitive soul.

RIP Rogue.  You were a good friend and a beloved member of our family for almost 13 years.  You will be missed.

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May 09 2012

#Autism: The heart of gold


I was driving Elliott to school this morning and he seemed troubled.  I asked him what was wrong.  He said that he was worried about one of his friends at school.

According to Elliott,  one of his friends needs money or a member of their family was going to die.

When I pressed Elliott for more information,  here didn’t really have any.  Hey didn’t know if the family member was a person or a pet.  Hey also said that her thinks they either need surgery or food.

If they didn’t get it,  they were going to die.

Elliott wanted to know if he could bring his money to school tomorrow and give it to his friend.  I was so proud of his compassion that I was just marveling at the little man he was growing into and hadn’t answered his question.

What was I supposed to say? 

I told him that I was so proud of him for wanting to help his friends family and that it was his money and if he wanted to do that than I would help him.

However,  I told him that before he did anything that I would need to find out what was going on because I sorta had the feeling that Elliott didn’t have accurate information.

I walked him into school and we spoke with his teacher about his concerns and what he wanted to do.

Apparently,  Elliott had either misunderstood what was going on or his friend wasn’t very clear.  Either way,  his teacher reassured Elliott that everything was okay and that gives friend was just fine.  She even suggested that instead of bring in his money,  maybe he could make a card. 

I just love his teacher’s.  She is even going to give him some special time today to work on making a card.

I’m just so incredibly proud of him and grateful that his teacher’s are so amazingly understanding and supportive.
My main concern was not so much about the money aspect but instead,  Elliott‘s anxiety.  I wanted to make sure I knew what was going on because Elliott would almost obsessively worry about this friend and while I admire that quality in him,  he’s just a kid. A kid that already has more than his share of challenges.

I just wanted to share this because I’m so incredibly proud of Elliott.  I guess it just goes to show that no matter how badly we feel we are failing as parents,  we must be doing something right. 

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

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Look for “Autism Help” app at the Google Play Store Registered & Protected

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Mar 21 2012

Today’s Victory: 03/21/2012


Today’s Victory is brought to you by the newest member of the Lost and Tired family,  Bella.  Bella is Emmett’s boxer puppy and best friend. 

Emmett has been really sick for the past few days with fevers exceeding 104°F on several occasions. He has coupe right now but we are suspecting strep because his throat is really sore. There have been many times,  like this morning,  when he was simply inconsolable.

However,  little Ms.  Bella has managed to provide him comfort when nothing else would. So,  for that I sat thank you Bella and I proud to award you with Today’s Victory. :-)


**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

Please join our Community Autism Support Forum Registered & Protected

Posted from WordPress for Android so please forgive any typos as auto-correct and I don’t see eye to eye. :-)

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Mar 04 2012

Today’s Victory: 03/04/2012


Typically,  Today’s Victory is reserved for the awesome things my boys do.  However,  I wanted to do something a bit different today.

As you know,  Bella is the newest member of the Lost and Tired family.  So I thought I would share some of the cute things that we get to see first hand and enjoy as a family. 

So without further delay,  Today’s Victory is brought to you by Bella.  In the past 2 weeks Bella has grown quite a bit.  This growth has been both physically and developmental. 

She has begun to get much more confident in herself.  She now is confident enough to sorta challenge Maggie.  In this photo,  Bella has claimed Maggie’s kenel as her own. Maggie actually was okay with it as well. 

They have even begun sharing toys.  Bella has been a fantastic edition to the Lost and Tired family.  We are so grateful she was given to us. 

I also want to thank Betterment for the gift card that helps to care for the new edition.  Thanks you….

Oh…Please ignore the Christmas tree in the background.  The boys won’t let us take it down. 



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Feb 29 2012

#Autism and Animals: The Amazing Victory


Sometimes the stars align and we have a victory. Today was one such day. I introduced you all to Bella, the newest member of the Lost and Tired family. I talked about how she seems to be helping Emmett with a few of his challenges.

I know this may not be the case for everyone out there but animals and Autism have been a good combination, at least for my kids.

We had a major breakthrough this afternoon with my littlest minion, Emmett. Emmett is very sensory sensitive and really struggles in that department. He has to feel the ground to see if it’s wet before walking outside. He doesn’t like getting water, dirt or mud on his shoes. I can’t tell you how many meltdowns we have had over something this simple.

Today however, something happened. Just watch and see if you see what happened. I’m so thrilled with this and I’m glad I was able to record this happening. I know our good friend Julia will probably catch this right away.

Please watch the video and celebrate today’s amazing victory.

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Dec 31 2011

How are you spending the New Years Eve


As the clock ticks closer and closer to 2012, I wondered how you will all be celebrating tonight and tomorrow?

As the last remaining member of the Lost and Tired family still awake on this new years eve,  I will likely spend it alone watching NetFlix. Lizze was going to hang out tonight but I think she fell asleep and I don’t have the heart to wake her up.

So,  it will be left over Pizza Hut pizza and some King of the Hill for me.  Rather boring but also rather relaxing.

I hope you all have a safe and happy New Years Eve,  no matter how you choose to spend it.  :-)

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