Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

Tag Archive: first

Apr 03 2013

#Autism Awareness Month Suggestions: Take care of yourself


As parents, we play a vital role in the life of our children. As special needs parents, that even more true. The reality is that in some cases, our kids will need us for as long as we can physically be here.

One of my worst fears is the day that I’m no longer here to take care of my kids. 

One of the things I’m doing instead of allowing that fear to take over is embrace it. I embrace that fear and let it drive me to take better care of myself.  I use that fear to motivate me into making better life decisions. 

It’s so incredibly easy to get lost in the everyday life of special needs parenting.  We do and do for our kids, often times at great expense to our own wellbeing.

When I was a firefighter and paramedic, one of the very first things we were taught was that the safety of myself and my partner must always come first. That may seem counterintuitive but it’s absolutely correct.

If I rolled up on the scene of an auto accident and put myself or my partner in harms way and something happens to us, not only are there more injuries to worry about but how can I help anyone if I’m hurt myself?

The same holds true with special needs parenting.

If you don’t take care of yourself, Who will be here to take care of your kids? It’s a sobering thought but one that must be taken seriously.

As part of Autism Awareness Month, I will be encouraging parents to do their best to make time for themselves. Take time to de-stress, watch what you eat and exercise.

Having said that, I’ll be leading by example and doing the same thing.  I will also be sharing what I do and any progress I make. 

Here is what I managed to pull off today. I took Lizze to the track and we were able to squeeze in 1.5 miles before picking up the boys. 

Every little bit, adds up over time. 



This site is managed via WordPress for Android, courtesy of the @SamsungMobileUS Galaxy Note 2 by @Tmobile. Please forgive any typos as autocorrect HATES me. ;-)

Check out my #Autism Awareness Store to find really cool and unique #Autism Awareness Clothing and Accessories, designed by me. ;-)

For more ways to help the Lost and Tired family, please visit Help the Lost and Tired Family.

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Mar 22 2013

I want to talk about the Person First Language


By now, I would imagine that we have all heard about the person first language. Basically, the premise of this is that you put the person before the disorder.

As I understand it, addressing someone in the person first language would go something like this.  This is my son Johnny, he has Autism.

The point is that some people feel that if you were to say something like, This is my son Johnny  and he’s autistic, or This is my Autistic son Johnny, that you are identifying them by the disorder and not who they are as a person.

To me, I’ve always felt this was really silly and honestly, kinda petty.

If you speak to an adult with Autism, more often than not they prefer to be called Autistic.

So I suppose the question I have is this.

Who’s the person first language really benefiting?

Think about it, if most adults with Autism, prefer to be called Autistic, than why the need for the person first language in the first place?

There’s always going to be someone who prefers a different terminology but does that mean that we have to make a huge deal out of the semantics of Autism?

Here’s my thoughts on this issue.

For starters, I really think the main reason we see people push for the person first language is because wenot they are more comfortable using it, especially when referring to our own children.

I know that some people get really upset when they hear a child referred to as Autistic. It seems as though they feel that using the word Autistic is defining the person. They would rather hear so and so has autism or so and so is a person living with Autism instead.

I really think this has more to do with them and less to do with the person on the spectrum.

In my opinion, the person first language, while good intentioned, does an injustice to the Autism community.

When we put so much effort into making sure that the person comes before the disorder, we give the impression that there’s something wrong with being Autistic. In a day and age when the community is asking for acceptance and understanding, what message is the person first language sending the rest of the world?

Instead of doing what makes us more comfortable with Autism, why not let those who are actually Autistic be our guide?

Personally, I use the words interchangeably because they both mean the same thing to me. Depending on the context of the conversation, I might say my kids are Autistic. I might also sayI have three boys with Autism.

Having said that, I hardly ever use the word Autism or autistic in real life, unless I’m speaking about the condition.

When I introduce my kids, I say these are my kids, Gavin, Elliott and Emmett.

I just feel like we spend way too much time worrying about things that in the big picture, are that important. When you look back on your life are you going to be like, yeah, I feel great because I made sure that my son or daughter was never called Autistic? I would think that when you look back on your life, you would want to know that you did everything you could to give your child the brightest future possible.

When I look back on my life, I want to know that did everything I could for my kids and I did the things that really truly mattered.

Look, I respect the right of anyone to think and do what they feel is right. I don’t have to agree with you to give you that respect. I just want to create a dialog and see what everyone thinks.

This site is managed via WordPress for Android, courtesy of the @SamsungMobileUS Galaxy Note 2 by @Tmobile. Please forgive any typos as autocorrect HATES me. ;-)

Check out my #Autism Awareness Store to find really cool and unique #Autism Awareness Clothing and Accessories, designed by me. ;-)

For more ways to help the Lost and Tired family, please visit Help the Lost and Tired Family.

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Dec 22 2012

Are you ready for Christmas??


It never ever fails that we are always scrambling to get things done at the very last possible minute. This year is more exception.

I always promise myself that I’ll do better next year and I end up breaking my promise to myself, year in and year out.


I think I just get too distracted with everything else going on and there’s always something more important at the moment that needs to be done first. It’s stressful and exhausting…..

Once again we find ourselves scrambling at the last minute to finish preparations for Santa Clause.

Are you ready for Santa Clauses arrival?

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Dec 18 2012

Autonomic Crisis: Waiting to be seen at @AkronChildrens Hospital


We have actually been for awhile now and are still waiting to go back.  It appears that they are pretty busy at the moment

We have to wait for a room with a monitor.

Gavin‘s slowly become more stable as time goes on.  Hopefully we’ll get back there and we can figure out what’s going on. 

We had to miss Elliott’s promotion. I saw him as he was going do to the dojo and I let him know that we were going to have to be with Gavin at the hospital and he was really disappointed.  He didn’t want to be doing the promotion in the first place, so this really sucks. 

Thankfully my parents are there with Emmett to cheer him on and take pictures.

I friggin hate this. 



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Dec 17 2012

When I first met my wife


This whole thing with losing Rogue today has brought up a lot of old memories.  It’s sorta funny how something like this can spark so many memories, long buried and forgotten and bring them to the surface for you to relive.

The events of Sunday have certainly done that for me.

I had completely forgotten that Rogue was by my side when I laid eyes on the woman that would become my best friend, my wife and the mother of my children, for the very first time.

If it wasn’t for Rogue, I would never have been at the park that day. That being the case, mine and Lizze’s paths may never have crossed.

For that reason alone, I will be forever grateful to my overly enthusiast and always shedding   Australian Shepherd.

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Dec 16 2012

Helping a child with #autism cope with loss


How do you explain death to a young child with #Autism?

Rouge, my very first dog is going to be put down today. Elliott and Emmett were really close to her and so we felt that we should give them the chance to say goodbye. 

Emmett doesn’t understand but Elliott, poor Elliott is devastated.

I’m trying to comfort him as best I can.

Please keep her and Elliott in your thoughts and prayers. 


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Dec 15 2012

Pictures with Santa 2012


In a bid to help provide the boys with some normalcy and focus on the Christmas season, we took the boys to see Santa Clause.

They weren‘t really sure about things at first but they did warm up to Santa once he began talking about what they wanted for Christmas.






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