Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

Tag Archive: feel

Jul 22 2013

I feel like I’m losing my son all over again.


Gavin informed me this morning that he would be gone for most of the day. Apparently, there’s a major battle going on in Sonic land and he will be fighting at Sonic’s side all day.

I didn’t get  many specifics because he was in a hurry to go help his visibly challenged friends.

All I could think to tell him is that I wanted him to be  careful and I didn’t want him to get hurt. Before I could even finish what I was saying, he was off to war.

To Gavin, this is very real and to me, this is very concerning. 

In my writing, I have stopped using the word imaginary to describe these things because I think it conveys the wrong message.  This isn’t his imagination and these aren’t imaginary friends.  This is a form of schizophrenia and he literally sees and hears these things. 

I feel like I’m losing him again and it breaks my heart.

We lost Gavin once already when he suddenly regressed around the age of 3 or 4. He woke up a different person than the one we put to bed the night before.  It was devastating..

It took a great deal of time to come to terms with that.  Over the years, we’ve adjusted to the Gavin that is and said goodbye to the Gavin that was. 

I checked on Gavin a few minutes ago.  I’m not sure what happened to the battle but when I spoke with him, he was playing poker with Sonic and Manic. Yep, there’s a new visibly challenged friend. His name is Manic and apparently he’s in one of the Sonic cartoons. 


This site is managed almost exclusively via WordPress for Android. Please forgive any typos as autocorrect HATES me. 😉

Follow @Lost_and_Tired

Visit the My Autism Help Forums

To reach me via email, please Contact Me

Permanent link to this article:

Jul 19 2013

Why other people can’t bring me down


I wanted to touch base with all of you and let you know that I’m still here.  🙂

Normally I write more often than this but today has been a challenging one.  It’s nothing we can’t handle though. We had some people try to bring us down but Lizze and I aren’t going to let that happen. 

Here’s the thing. 

There will always be people that will try to bring you down. When you’re in a position like I am and many of you are, it’s easy the take those things to heart because we already feel needless guilt for a million different reasons.  It’s all part of the special needs parenting package.

I chose to just rock on with what I’m doing because regardless of what anyone says or why they say it, I know the truth. 

There’s a ton of reasons why people feel the need to bring someone else down. Maybe they are unhappy in their own life. Maybe, despite how challenging your life is, they’re jealous.

The way I see it, at the end of the day, I’m happy.

Sure, I’m stressed out, overwhelmed, frustrated, tired and broke but I’m happy. I love my wife and I love my kids.  Life isn’t easy by any stretch or the imagination but I’m happy with my life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. 

Maybe I’m crazy and there are times that I really wonder but honestly, hearing my kids laugh, seeing them smile and getting a hug and kiss goodnight are among the coolest thing to ever happen to me.

That’s why I’m happy. That’s why I’ll continue to be happy, despite attempts to make me feel otherwise.

I’m not playing favorites by including two pictures of Emmett. I figured you might need some context or else he may sorta look like and adorable zombie.  🙂

This site is managed almost exclusively via WordPress for Android. Please forgive any typos as autocorrect HATES me. 😉

Follow @Lost_and_Tired

Visit the My Autism Help Forums

To reach me via email, please Contact Me

Permanent link to this article:

Jul 15 2013

Do you ever feel like you’re letting your family down?


I wrote this big long post yesterday a out everything that’s weighing on me. After collecting my thoughts a bit afterwards, I realized that I left something out.

It’s probably one of the biggest things weighing on me and crushing my soul.

Regardless of what anyone says, I know that I’m letting my family down.  I may be doing everything I can but it’s barely meeting the minimum requirements.

I can’t help but feel like my family deserves so much better than what I’m able to provide.  So I guess that means that they deserve better than me….

Someday things will get better.  Someday things will be manageable.

Do you ever feel that way?

It’s a truly awful feeling.  It’s almost made worse by the fact that my kids never complain and just accept what I’m able to do.  Perhaps they just don’t know anything else but I know they deserve better.

Am I the only one that ever feels like this?

This site is managed almost exclusively via WordPress for Android. Please forgive any typos as autocorrect HATES me. 😉

Follow @Lost_and_Tired

Visit the My Autism Help Forums

To reach me via email, please Contact Me

Permanent link to this article:

Jul 12 2013

Seven Ways To Get Your Child’s Obedience

Seven Ways To Get Your Child’s Obedience (via Support for Stepfathers)

    Parents often argue about the best way to get their children to do what they ask them. Regardless of the approach, negotiations and power struggles will ensue, and you’ll feel defeated at times, but how do you win the overall battle and ultimately…

Read the rest of this entry »

Permanent link to this article:

Apr 01 2013

Do you ever feel forgotten by those around you?


I was wondering if anyone else out there gets resentful? I don’t necessarily mean anything about our kids. 

Perhaps frustrated is a better word to use.  I find myself frustrated and even a bit resentful because while my family is struggling to survive, it seems like life just goes on, all around us. 

I’m the oldest of 6 kids and everyone lives within 30 minutes of each other, some just a few minutes down the road. You know what, I never hear from any of them. No one seems to have a clue how bad things are going for us. I mean, it’s not like I keep it a friggin  secret. Jesus Christ, I have almost 1,000,000 hits every single month. Do you know how many of them are from my siblings?


They love us and they love the boys, there’s no question about that.


Why not be more involved? Why not try to help us? Why not call and just see how we’re doing?

Today at Easter dinner, I was really in a bad place.  I was listening to everyone talking about places they go together and all the fun they’re having.  I’m happy for them and I want them to have fun but why do we seem to be forgotten?

I know we can’t go most places and we never have money to go out but that doesn’t mean we can’t at least talk on the phone. 

When something goes wrong, Lizze and I are the first ones that everyone goes to for help and we’re always happy to give or do whatever we possibly can.

Just so we’re crystal clear. I don’t feel like we’re entitled to anything and no one owes us at all, but it would be nice not to feel like we’re forgotten. Every day is such a struggle and sometimes it would be nice to not feel forgotten.

Do you ever feel like you’re forgotten by those around you? Do you ever get frustrated or feel hurt that life goes on around you as though you and you’re family aren’t there?

This site is managed via WordPress for Android, courtesy of the @SamsungMobileUS Galaxy Note 2 by @Tmobile. Please forgive any typos as autocorrect HATES me. 😉

Check out my #Autism Awareness Store to find really cool and unique #Autism Awareness Clothing and Accessories, designed by me. 😉

For more ways to help the Lost and Tired family, please visit Help the Lost and Tired Family.

Permanent link to this article:

Mar 24 2013



As I write this my beloved Auntie Paula is dying of lung cancer. Stupid, freaking, destructive cancer. I hate it. I hate that I’m not with her more. It’s not my place to be with her. My uncle is there. My cousins, her daughters, are there. And her grand-daughters are there. My Grammy Lou Who (I only call her that here on the blog, I don‘t know why.) is there with my partner in crime, my Auntie Sharon. My Auntie Paula doesn‘t need me there. Yet, I feel as if I should be there.

I feel like I’m moving through molasses. Every breath is too thick and it hurts. My brain feels fuzzy and hazy, like I’m drunk and stoned. Only I’m stone cold sober. Moving just feels… awkward. I can’t really explain it but my body doesn‘t feel like it’s entirely mine. Everything hurts – every joint, every muscle, every everything – which isn‘t new or unusual yet it is. This isn‘t my usual pain. This isn‘t my usual achy don‘t touch me, my skin feels like it’s on fire pain. Although my skin does feel like it’s on fire. It just doesn‘t feel…right.

I’m hungry one minute. I feel like I’m starving and I haven’t eaten in days (I have I assure you). Then 10 minutes later the mere idea of food turns my stomach and I can’t stand to look at it.

What the hell is happening to me?

Does any of this make sense?

If you have any thoughts or ideas or well wishes or whatever please leave them as a comment on my post on my blog so that I can enjoy them.

Thank you for your love and support!

Permanent link to this article:

Dec 22 2012

How does this rank on the scale of weird?


Lizze and I were watching a movie tonight and someone very quietly began knocking on our front door.

It was really late and the guy was knocking so quietly that Maggie hadn’t even taken notice.

As soon as I realized someone was at the front door, I immediately was on my feet and Maggie and Bella both were on point.  I opened the front door but left the storm door closed and I actually physically held it shut in case this guy was stupid enough to try and do something with both dogs there.

This guy claimed to be my neighbor, which he wasn’t and kept asking for an extra audio /video cable.

It was really creepy because he kept asking, over and over again.  Then he turned around and walked away. 


Shortly after, a strange car pulled up in front of my house and sat there for about an hour.  Lizze actually called the police because we were getting concerned and felt uncomfortable. 

We both feel like we were being cased

Like they were feeling us out to see if we would be a good house to rob. Who the hell knows, I just know I feel uncomfortable enough to let the dogs have free reign of the house tonight. 

Gotta love the City of Canton. I’m mean who comes up to a strangers house at 10pm and asks for an audio/video cable?  Really??

Permanent link to this article:

Older posts «

Switch to our mobile site