Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

Tag Archive: editing

Dec 10 2011

The impact of choices can be painful



Today,  Emmett was playing with Gavin and Elliott.  Gavin was running around with his safe blanket wrapped around his neck. 
Emmett decided that tug of War would be a fun game and so he grabbed the blanket that was dangling behind Gavin.

For starters,  Gavin should not have had anything wrapped around his neck. That is a very bad example for his brothers and we have already had that discussion many times.

Gavin was walking away as. Emmett was holding on to the blanket. The whole time the blanket was pulling tighter and tighter around Gavin’s neck.  What I don’t understand is why Gavin was holding the blanket around his neck?.

If he would let go of the blanket it would have simply fallen to the floor. 

However,  he waited until Emmett had all his weight into trying to pull the blanket off of Gavin’s neck before he let the blanket go. 
This resulted in Emmett being launched backwards and into the dresser.  While Emmett is OK,  he will have a nasty bruise on his back.

This is what triggered Gavin’s second or third meltdown for the day.

I don’t know why he waited so long to let go of the blanket?  I don’t know what his motives were or whether he intentionally waited until Emmett would get hurt to let go.

All I know is that his decisions are causing,  at least at times,  people to get hurt. These times are becoming more and more frequent. 

This has been posted to WordPress via Galaxy S2 Epic Touch 4G by Samsung, without the use of proper editing tools.

Permanent link to this article:

Dec 10 2011

Meltdowns are back on the menu


I’m writing this post and feeling quite overwhelmed and frustrated.  Gavin is back to having meltdowns each day again.

We had experienced a lull in number of meltdowns he has had in recent months. 

However,  that period of peace and relative tranquility has come to an end.  Gavin is back to having meltdowns over anything that doesn’t go his way and I’ll be real honest with you here,  it’s driving me crazy.

We had at least two meltdowns today alone.  I don’t remember what the first one was about,  but the second one involved a decision he made causing Emmett to get hurt. 

He starts out by bending his fingers back to the point of almost breaking them.  Then he slams his foot to the side so he’s standing on his ankles,  if that makes sense.  This is followed by him teasing up the rest of his body and then comes the screaming.

This afternoons meltdown sent Elliott into a panic and flying down the stairs.

I’ve come to the point that I accept the fact that Gavin is going to have these meltdowns and very likely self-injure. Sadly,  I have grown callous to that as it has happened way to many times and he tries to use the self-injury as a means of manipulation.

What I do have an issue with and this is what frustrates…no possess me off.  Gavin doesn’t seem to recognize,  let alone care about the impact his actions have on the rest of the family. 

When he melts down and causes one of the other boys to either get hurt or become terrified by his actions,  it gets under my skin.

I have become a bit complacent in recent months because we haven’t had these issues.  As a result,  I have let things go for fear of the meltdown that may ensue if I address the problem in that manner in which it warrants.

Does that make sense?  Do you ever base a disciplinary decision on whether or not you can deal with the fallout that will undoubtedly happen after a consequence has been dealt?

I have and I can admit that. 

Sometimes it simply comes down to survival. Sometimes the right thing and the wrong thing seem to pale in comparison to literally surviving the moment. 

It’s not always the best thing to base a decision on but the already fine line between good and less than good decision making in special needs parenting can sometimes become less important than physically living to fight another day.

We typically call it,  picking our battles.

As far as Gavin’s meltdowns are concerned,  we have to decide of correcting a negative behavior is worth the 45 minutes we will have to endure that meltdown that will more likely than not follow.

This isn’t an easy decision because there are both long term and short term things to consider,  as well as the affects those decisions will have in the rest of the family.

Nothing about this is easy,  but than again,  if it were easy,  anyone could do this job…right?

This has been posted to WordPress via Galaxy S2 Epic Touch 4G by Samsung, without the use of proper editing tools.

Permanent link to this article:

Dec 10 2011

Perfectly Imperfect


Perfectly imperfect,  sounds like an oxymoron,  right?  True,  but beneath the surface it means a great deal more to me.

When I tried to come up with a word or phrase that describes my family,  more specifically,  my three boys on the Autism Spectrum,  I came up with perfectly imperfect.

My family is far from perfect.  Having said that,  who’s really is? 
Even the most typical of families has their problems.  Granted,  most aren’t dealing with the same struggles that we are. 

Sometimes,  people think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence,  but I think you’d be surprised. 

Life for the Lost and Tired family is beyond stressful and overwhelming.  We experience setback quite often. However,  we also experience victories,  maybe not big ones but a victory, regardless of its size, feels awesome.

If I must spend my life in the trenches,  fighting for everything we need and every little baby step forward,  I can’t image doing that with anyone besides my family.

True,  I would love to remove the challenges life has given to my wife and kids.  However,  I know that I can’t, at least at this point in time. 

My family’s struggles have taught me to appreciate so much,  the little things in life.  Every hug and kiss I receive from my kids is so filled with love and I can feel that.

My time as the head of the Lost and Tired family has taught me many things. I’ve experienced the pain and heartache of loss.  I’ve experienced the frustration of setback and bad news far more often than anything else.

With that said,  as a family,  we ways pull through together in the end, sometimes by the skin of our teeth. 

I honestly don’t know if I could do this with any other family.  There is something about my family that while not perfect,  is a perfect match for me and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.

That is why I say that my family is perfectly imperfect.

This has been posted to WordPress via Galaxy S2 Epic Touch 4G by Samsung, without the use of proper editing tools.

Permanent link to this article:

Dec 10 2011

Surviving Dinner




So,  last night I was feeling kinda froggy,  so I thought it would be nice to get everyone out of the house for a bit. 

I ended up deciding to take the family out to dinner. I think we’ve only done that one other time this year because of how challenging it can be to do that with 3 boys on the Autism Spectrum.

Last night’s excursion went off without a hitch.  The boys did great and everyone enjoyed their dinner..

What a pleasant surprise.   :-)

This has been posted to WordPress via Galaxy S2 Epic Touch 4G by Samsung, without the use of proper editing tools.

Permanent link to this article:

Dec 09 2011

Today’s Victory: 12/09/2011



Today’s Vitory I brought to you by my oldest son,  Gavin.

We get our water from a company called Clear Water.  He have a 5 gallon water cooler and so we have to refill the jugs about every week or so.

Sometimes,  Gavin will tag along and always wants to help.  Typically,  Gavin can’t seem to get the timing of shutting the water offer before it sprays everywhere.

However,  on this occasion,  he did the entire process on his own. He put in the token and filled up the jugs without soaking himself in the process.

He even wiped them down when he was done.

This seems like an arbitrary skill but the reality is that he needs to know this kind of thing in order to function independently in the future. 

The bottom line is that it was something he couldn’t do before and now can.

The sounds like a big’ol victory to me.  Great job Gavin…..

This has been posted to WordPress via Galaxy S2 Epic Touch 4G by Samsung, without the use of proper editing tools.

Permanent link to this article:

Dec 08 2011

Natural Curiosity



After taking Lizze to the doctor’s and running to the school to pick up the boys,  we finally arrived home.

Upon approaching the front door,  all I wanted to do was get out of the cold and finish up some things around the house before Lizze got home. 

The boys however,  had other plans. 

They discovered that that bird bath was frozen over.  They wanted to feel the ice and poke at it with a stick.

As tired as I was,  I remembered to take some of my own advice and seize the moment and help them to learn something new.  So we played with the ice for a few minutes and talked about what ice was and why it was there. 

After a few minutes,  their natural curiosity was satisfied and they flowed me into the house. 

I really believe that it’s very important to seize moments like this to help my kids experience and learn about their world. 

They learn something and I enjoy the time together.  :-)

This has been posted to WordPress via Galaxy S2 Epic Touch 4G by Samsung, without the use of proper editing tools.

Permanent link to this article:

Dec 07 2011

When they just can’t fall asleep




A few years ago we were struggling with bedtime,  even more than we are now.  After consulting our many doctors,  we decided to try Melatonin. 

We were nervous about “drugging” our kids,  just to get them to sleep.  However,  we did a ton of research and our docs are top notch,  so we decided to give it a try. 

OMG,  I don’t know how we ever got along without it.

Melatonin helps the boys peacefully drift off to sleep,  when it would normally have been a struggle.

We only use it when it’s needed but Melatonin has been proven safe and effective,  with few, if any side effects.

We have found it work very quickly. Elliott,  for example, will take 2mls and be asleep before we finish reading his stories.

It can help make bedtime a much more pleasant experience for both parents and children. I thought I would share this. 

Anyone care to share their Melatonin experience?

This has been posted to WordPress via Galaxy S2 Epic Touch 4G by Samsung, without the use of proper editing tools.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Permanent link to this article:

Older posts «

Switch to our mobile site