Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

Tag Archive: don

Mar 28 2013

When things don’t go as planned


One of the things that are very difficult for a person with Autism is when something doesn’t go as planned.  Something like a disruption in their routine can be devastating.

I wanted discuss what we do when something like this happens. How do we provide comfort? How do we help them calm down if they are melting down?

I’m interested in learning from all of your personal experience and using that to help others. 

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Mar 24 2013



As I write this my beloved Auntie Paula is dying of lung cancer. Stupid, freaking, destructive cancer. I hate it. I hate that I’m not with her more. It’s not my place to be with her. My uncle is there. My cousins, her daughters, are there. And her grand-daughters are there. My Grammy Lou Who (I only call her that here on the blog, I don‘t know why.) is there with my partner in crime, my Auntie Sharon. My Auntie Paula doesn‘t need me there. Yet, I feel as if I should be there.

I feel like I’m moving through molasses. Every breath is too thick and it hurts. My brain feels fuzzy and hazy, like I’m drunk and stoned. Only I’m stone cold sober. Moving just feels… awkward. I can’t really explain it but my body doesn‘t feel like it’s entirely mine. Everything hurts – every joint, every muscle, every everything – which isn‘t new or unusual yet it is. This isn‘t my usual pain. This isn‘t my usual achy don‘t touch me, my skin feels like it’s on fire pain. Although my skin does feel like it’s on fire. It just doesn‘t feel…right.

I’m hungry one minute. I feel like I’m starving and I haven’t eaten in days (I have I assure you). Then 10 minutes later the mere idea of food turns my stomach and I can’t stand to look at it.

What the hell is happening to me?

Does any of this make sense?

If you have any thoughts or ideas or well wishes or whatever please leave them as a comment on my post on my blog so that I can enjoy them.

Thank you for your love and support!

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Dec 18 2012

More server issues….


Sorry for the downtime.  Blue host was down once again.  I don‘t know what the heck is going on. 

Please be patient as I either find a new host or address the issues with Blue Host.  :-)

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Dec 18 2012

Autonomic Crisis: Selling the Drama


Gavin had bloodwork done about an hour or so ago. At this point, he seems to have stabilized enough to be sent home. We’ll know more when the blood work comes back

Thus far, things have been interesting.  Gavin was in full on drama queen mode.

He was screaming and crying for no reason, other than trying to get the attention of the pretty nurses.  Very frustrating on our end because his behavior made things more difficult on everyone. 

I missed Elliott’s promotion and Gavin‘s acting like a drama queen. 

This has nothing to do with aspergers, autism or overstimulation.. It’s all about getting attention and cresting a scene.  That would be the reactive attachment disorder. 

I realize that none of this is his fault per say. However he is responsible for his choices, and quite frankly I’m sick and tired of the drama.  I love Gavin, I always have and always will.  Having said that, I don‘t have to love his behaviors and trust me, I don‘t. 

I know that some of you out there can understand how frustrating this type of behavior can be.  My heart goes out to all of you, especially you Carl. If there’s a person on this planet that completely understands its him. 


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Dec 18 2012

Autonomic Crisis: Heading to @AkronChildrens Hospital


I spoke with Dr.  Moodley’s office at the Cleveland Clinic.  We were originally going to be taking him to the ER at Cleveland. However, as we are getting ready to go, I received a call back instructing me to take him to Akron Children’s Hospital instead.

I don‘t know for sure why they wanted this. However, it’s likely they either don‘t want him to travel that far or there isn‘t really anything we can do at Cleveland that they can’t do at Akron.

Either way, this day has very quickly gone right down the shitter. 

I’m very close to losing what’s left of my mind and just beating my head into the wall until it all goes away. 

Hopefully, Gavin will be stabilized and we can take him home and make a plan for going forward.

Please keep Gavin in you thoughts and prayers. 

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Dec 18 2012

Wanted: Parenting Advice


Lizze and I have found ourselves in a position where we aren’t sure what the right thing to do is. Normally these positions revolve around Gavin but this time it’s Elliott.

As many of you know, Elliott has aspergers and severe anxiety.  He’s been through a great deal in his life, especially in the last month or so.

This week at school is martial arts promotion and the schools annual Christmas program. Elliott wants nothing to do both either.  Promotion is actually this afternoon around 2pm. However, that conflicts with Elliott‘s weekly OT appointment.

At this point, Elliott is doesn‘t want to miss OT. He’s also dead set on not participating in the Christmas show his classroom is putting on this Thursday.

As his parent, I’m at a loss as to what we should do.

I understand what’s behind this.  He really needs OT and knows that it will help him to feel better. He’s been through a lot this past weekend and is grappling for some control and stability in his life.  Personally, I’m of the mindset to let him have it.  Lizze however, thinks he should at least go to promotion.

Part of me knows that she’s right. Promotion is a pretty big deal and it’s all about building him up. She’s absolutely right

However, we both don‘t want to make his anxiety any worse.


He’s already struggling with the fact that we had to put my old dog Rogue down over the weekend.  She has been there all his life and now she’s not. 

This is really his first run in with loss.  Do we really want to push him?

It’s not like he’s asking to just stay home.  He wants to go to OT and that’s productive and a physical outlet. I want to give him control over his life, as does Lizze.  The question is, how much control?

As far as the Christmas show on Thursday, I honestly couldn’t care less what he does. This is something put on for the parents and he’s really freaked out by this.  Lizze and I don‘t want to force him to do something that really isn’t important in the grand scheme of things, especially if it will upset him this much. 

He told me today that he’s having a hard time remembering the words to the songs and he gets confused and embarrassed.

I’ve offered to help him learn the words as well as encouraged him to go through with it. 

However, I think that all he really wants is to be rescued from this and told that he doesn‘t have to do it.  Again, I’m of the mindset to let him make the choice.

Having said that, I don‘t know if that’s the right thing to do. 

I mean, Elliott‘s only 6 years old and lost a great deal in a short amount of time.  If he needs to make some decisions in his life, shouldn’t we let him? We’re not talking life or death decisions here. We’re talking attending events at school that have him extremely anxious. 

Of course, he’s going to have to learn to do things, even though he doesn‘t want to.  However, he has the rest of his life to do that.  We have a chance to provide him with some relief and I don‘t see a compelling reason not to give it to him.

What would you do? Have any of your kids been in a similar situation? How have you handled it? How much control do you give a 6 year old little boy?

I would really appreciate your thoughts on this. 

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Dec 17 2012

Confessions of a depressed #Autism Dad: 12/17/2012


It’s been awhile since my last confession. Having said that, I reached a milestone that I’m not proud of and I want to share this with all of you.  My goal with this is to continue opening a window into our lives but also, help someone if they happen to be dealing with the same thing.

I mentioned that I have reached a milestone. That milestone is my physical weight and I’m not happy with it at all.

10 years ago I was body building and in excellent physical condition. 

Between life happening, my poor coping skills and lack of motivation, I have reached 294lbs. Now, I don‘t necessarily look that heavy because of my previous body building but I certainly feel it.  To be completely honest, I’m ashamed and embarrassed by this. 

Truth be told, that’s one of the reasons that I’m not in very many pictures.  I’m really self conscious.

One of my big problems is that I can’t easily get out of the house anymore because of all that’s going on. In the rare cases that I can, I’m too tired to actually do anything. 

Another problem is that I’m depressed.  That of course, isn’t a secret.


However, there’s only so much that medications can help you with and I fall into that category.  The anti-depression meds help. They actually help a great deal. Having said that, things are just so bad at times that they simply aren’t enough.

Between inadequate coping skills and lack of self control, I have turned to stress eating for comfort.

That I believe is my biggest problem at the moment. I really do try to watch what I eat. However, I think it’s the quantity of things that I eat, which is really contributing to the weight gain.

I’m really struggling with this and it sets a horrible example for my boys. 

I realize that sometimes, you have to do what you have to do, in order to survive. Truth be told, I think I hide behind that far to often.  It’s just too easy to justify my eating by saying that it will help me make it through the day. I also have a lot of days that I say something like, after the day I’ve had…………

There are a great many things I’m good at and there are also just as many that I struggle with. Coping with my life, in healthier ways, is definitely something I’m struggling with.

Granted, it could be worse. I mean, I don‘t drink, smoke or do drugs. 

However, my stress eating and subsequent body weight is definitely impacting not only me as a person but also a parent. I don‘t have the energy to do everything that needs done. 

My goal is to change this.  The first step towards my goal is to admit that I have a problem and go from there. 

I know what I need to do, it’s just reclaiming my self-control and discipline that I need to figure out. 

With 2013 rapidly approaching, I’m going to be focusing on improving myself, body and soul.  It’s not going to be easy at all however, my family is worth and so am I.

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