Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

Tag Archive: behavior

Dec 18 2012

Autonomic Crisis: Selling the Drama


Gavin had bloodwork done about an hour or so ago. At this point, he seems to have stabilized enough to be sent home. We’ll know more when the blood work comes back

Thus far, things have been interesting.  Gavin was in full on drama queen mode.

He was screaming and crying for no reason, other than trying to get the attention of the pretty nurses.  Very frustrating on our end because his behavior made things more difficult on everyone. 

I missed Elliott’s promotion and Gavin‘s acting like a drama queen. 

This has nothing to do with aspergers, autism or overstimulation.. It’s all about getting attention and cresting a scene.  That would be the reactive attachment disorder. 

I realize that none of this is his fault per say. However he is responsible for his choices, and quite frankly I’m sick and tired of the drama.  I love Gavin, I always have and always will.  Having said that, I don‘t have to love his behaviors and trust me, I don‘t. 

I know that some of you out there can understand how frustrating this type of behavior can be.  My heart goes out to all of you, especially you Carl. If there’s a person on this planet that completely understands its him. 


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Aug 29 2012

Gavin put his head through the wall tonight


In my last post,  I mentioned that Gavin was beginning to have a tantrum.  Well,  he definitely had a tantrum.

Tonight,  he actually banged his head so hard into the wall that he left a friggin hole. You heard me right.  He made a whole in the wall with his head. This has never happened before.

He’s sleeping now but we’ll have to do something about this in the morning. 

Luckily,  he didn’t seriously hurt himself.

With the news that Gavin will not be medically cleared for placement, anytime soon,  I’m not sure what it is that we are supposed to do.

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct hate me.

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Aug 17 2012

What happens when you punch a door?


During Gavin’s tantrum yesterday,  he began punching his solid oak bedroom door.  He was hitting it hard enough that I thought he was kicking it.

This is what he did to his hand. 

He busted open his knuckles but no long term damage and no broken bones. He doesn’t seem bothered by what I would think is a painful and very natural consequence for punching his door.

I would hope that it would serve as a lesson for him but I know better than that. Sadly,  I know better than that.  :-(


**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

Please join our Autism Help Forum

Look for “Autism Help” app at the Google Play Store Registered & Protected

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.

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Aug 09 2012

The honeymoon phase is officially over ;*(


The honeymoon phase with Gavin is officially over. We had our first full fledged meltdown since his return from the psych unit. He’s done pretty well until this point and I give him all the credit in the world for that. However, while his physical behavior has been better his continued disrespect for Lizze has continued to get worse.

After meeting with Dr. Patti last night, we have all agreed that we must crack down on the disrespect. There is absolutely no excuse for this type of behavior.

It was also decided that we would maintain the oatmeal thing but since he says it doesn’t bother him anymore, we need to add something in addition to it. For example, we can have him write “I will be respectful to my mother, she loves me and deserves better” like 25 times. Something to that affect.

He’s jumped right back into the very self-injurious behavior once again. He has shown no aggression towards anyone else, so that’s a plus.

Having said that, we are going to have to follow through on our threat to call the police, if this continues. Absolutely no part of me wants to open that can of worms.

Right now, the only reason we allowed this today was because he did this minutes before Lizze was getting picked up for her MRI. She has missed it at least twice now due to something Gavin related and she needs to get this done. The obvious downside is that I have to deal with this on my own.

The funny thing or not so funny thing, depending on how you look at it, is he kept stopping his meltdown so that he could check his heart rate. As soon as he was done, he would start all over again.

If that isn’t control, I don’t know what is.

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Jul 05 2012

The MegaMeltdown


Today has been a rough day to say the least.  We were all disappointed that our plans to go out of town for the day fell through.

However,  things only got worse as the day went on.

Gavin had,  what I can only describe as MegaMeltdown. Every time this happens,  I always find it to be worse than the previous meltdown,  which is a scary trend.

What happened this afternoon was that Gavin was not being nice to his brothers and when they tried to get help from Lizze and I,  Gavin tried to stop them. Lizze caught him red handed and immediately intervened, sending Gavin downstairs to me.  She spoke with the boys and I spoke with Gavin.

We have to pick our battles with Gavin because any time he is disciplined,  he melts down.

Today was no different.

I’m fact,  this is probably the worst meltdown in recent memory. The whole reason he melted down was because he was held accountable for his actions.

The reason we opted into this battle was because under no circumstances should Gavin prevent his brothers from seeking us out for help. That is absolutely unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

I wouldn’t let anyone prevent Gavin from  seeking help and I certainly won’t permit Gavin doing that to his brothers.

That’s a huge safety issue.

The consequence was that Gavin would have a bowl of oatmeal,  I stead of a hamburger,  for dinner. He had fruit and vegetables as well,  so nothing was actually withheld,  just substituted. It’s the only thing that has a number bering on him.

Throughout this meltdown,  you will see a few times where he stops the meltdown on a dime. He does this in order to wipe his nose,  look at his leg and various other reasons.  So we know that he can stop.  He just wouldn’t stop.

The level of self-injury was much greater than usual. Most of this is actually for manipulation purposes and used as a means of trying to get what he wants or punish us for not giving it to him.

With that said,  I also feel like he’s simply coming unglued and we very clearly need to intervene.  The problem is what exactly are we supposed to do?

I don’t know what he needs and neither do the specialists.

No one really understands what is going on with him and so knowing what to do is even more evasive.

This is no way to live and I don’t think we can continue allowing this to go on.

Editors note:

Before I even finished this post,  Gavin had his 2nd MegaMeltdown of the afternoon. He was playing with his brothers in the dining room,  as I supervised. Gavin was repeating the same behavior that got him in trouble earlier this afternoon. He just doesn’t respect/understand his brothers boundaries and certainly isn’t learning from his mistakes.



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Jun 19 2012

#Autism and destructive behavior


Something that really frustrates me is some of the destructive behavior we see from our kids on the #Autism spectrum.  Not all my kids are destructive, it’s mostly Gavin and to a much lesser extent,  Emmett. Just because a child is on the spectrum doesn’t mean they are going to be destructive.

Gavin has destroyed countless things over the years. Most of the physical damage was done to his own property but sometimes the damage occurred to other things as well.

We used to replace the destroyed items when we were just starting out on this journey.  We learned pretty quick that it was something we could keep up.  Not only was it to expensive but it sent the wrong message to Gavin.

The latest issue we have had was with his mattress cover.  As you can see,  it’s lost its effectiveness.  This began during his meltdowns and the end result can be seen below.

The only way we can even begin to have the slightest hope of teaching Gavin the value of money and to respect both his and other people’s property is to make him replace the items he breaks. Accidents are one thing but purposeful destruction is something all entirely different.

If you experience destructive behavior,  how do you cope and how do you teach your child that’s not acceptable behavior?

You’ll note in the picture below that Gavin is without a bed frame or box spring.  The reason for that is because he physically destroyed both,  one more than one occasion.  We can’t afford to replace things only to have them destroyed during a meltdown.


**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

Please join our Autism Help Forum

Look for “Autism Help” app at the Google Play Store Registered & Protected

Posted from WordPress for Android so please forgive the auto-correct induced typos

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Jun 13 2012

Mt. Gavin has erupted


Gavin has been meltdown free for the past 3 days.  However,  his attitude has been unpleasant and his treatment of Lizze has been unacceptable. The way he talks to her really make me sad and extremely upset.

We had been very carefully picking our battles the past few days because we really enjoyed the lack of violent outbursts. 

Today however,  was the last straw. He wasn’t listening all morning and when Lizze would tell him to do something,  he would give her a hard time. Finally I had had it.  Whether any of us like it or not,  his little brothers look up to him and mimic is behavior.  I can’t let his attitude and treatment of his mother go unchallenged. 

I informed him that he would not be allowed to play video games during his next infusion on Friday. We had allowed that to go on,  even though Gavin and video games don‘t mix well. We did this because we felt so bad that he had to have the infusion in the first place. From now on,  his ability to play video games during his infusions will directly depend on his behavior.

He didn’t like that and so he freaked out and eventually started to self-injure once again.

I reminded him what the consequences would be if he didn’t get this under control.  This time,  he was so angry at me that I don‘t think he cared. He was in in control because he would stop in occasion to make sure he didn’t get to close to something he values. 

As promised,  I took away his favorite blanket and he will have to earn that back. He didn’t think I would actually go through with it,  and he would have been right,  if anything else would have worked.

He began freaking out even more until I walked over to his teddy bear and began to walk out the door with it. I told him that if I reached the door and he hadn’t stopped,  that he would have to earn that back as well. Wouldn’t you know it,  it was like he flipped a switch and shut everything off.  Honestly,  it’s almost creepy because it’s literally like it never happened. I don‘t know own how he does that but it’s unsettling to say the least.

We see Dr.  Pattie tonight and will talk about additional options she has come up with since the last time we talked.  However,  she informed me that she’s only human the other day and pretty much shattered my world view.  It was kinda funny because while I know she’s only human,  we had tended to see her as superhuman and with all the answers.  :-)
Hopefully,  we can all put our human heads together tonight and come up with a few options or ideas to address the problems we are facing at home with Gavin.

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