Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

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Sep 21 2012

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Recovering from the tantrum

I’m so frustrated right now because I don’t like feeling like my hands are tied.. There is very little we can do when it comes to Gavin until we get the funding in place to get him placed.

Gavin’s tantrum tonight has disrupted to such an extent that the dogs are peeing on the floor. 

Both dogs are completely house broken but you wouldn’t know it tonight.  Emmett has been on complete overload this even as well and spent most of tonight crying. 

He’s already not feeling well and tonight’s events just sorta pushed him over the edge.

Elliott is spending the night at my parents tonight and is doing well.

We had a special dinner with Emmett tonight to try and distract him from the fact that Elliott went somewhere and he didn’t. 

Lizze and I are going to chill out tonight and try to relax.

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct hate me.

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13 comments
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Batty
Batty

In Virginia, Medicaid covers most children in residential.  If a parent is on disability, children qualify for medicaid, also with low incomes.  You should check with social services!

ghosttoast99
ghosttoast99

@reality_autism we have had alot of meltdowns and I know it can be so hard to take when they are coming in droves. I feel ya. #autism

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Chloe123
Chloe123

Rob, was the board of disabilities able to help you at all? (family resource money towards respite etc.?) (or the new self waiver that is out now)? Or some respite just until he is placed in a residential placement, so that you, the dogs, and the other boys can have a little break? Also are you trained in CPI or restraint? I cannot even imagine what you are going through. But one thing I do know is that you and Lizzie are great, wonderful parents! 🙂 🙂 Tell the boys I said hello. Tell Emmet I hope he feels better soon. 

lostandtired
lostandtired

 @Chloe123 Hey Chloe. Um we are working with Stark County Family Council and they  are going to spearhead this for a little while. DD should be getting involved soon. 🙂

lyndavisyak
lyndavisyak

You're doing good with the meltdown issues, after 21 yrs. of this I have learned the hard way.  I get it now, following my husbands direction on this.  Ignore, ignore ignore.  So hard to watch your son constantly hit himself in the head time after time was my instinct to hold his hand down and tell him NO.  The best thing is limited talking or try to reason with, into the room and stay there till you're done.  If needed remove all objects other than a bed and you can use certain items as a reinforcement and or reward when behavior is stopped at a reasonable amount of time. Took me many years to adjust to this, I had to realize I had no controll over this behavior and had to show him only hitting himself is hurting only him.  I wish you the best of luck!

lostandtired
lostandtired

 @lyndavisyak Very well said. It also took me a while to realize that not engaging with him is the best approach. My every instinct was to stop him from hurting himself but the best thing to do was let him go. That way his behavior isn't dictating yours. It sucks and most people don't get it but it's the best thing to do. 

lyndavisyak
lyndavisyak

 @lostandtired

 I get you!  I was so different years ago in my approach, I was trying to direct him as a n/t child.  I since learned they feed on your actions and reactions.  Such a key when dealing with autism behavior. Ignore and show.  You carring Gavin over your shoulder is great, show him who's the boss in a non confrontial way.  Classic! You're doing great! Stick to your common sence!

KeelyCorinneMiller
KeelyCorinneMiller

I am sorry things are so rough. It really does suck. We have been there a time or two. As for the "Tantrum", to me it sounds more like a "Rage". Tantrums are more controllable by the child and by the parent, Rage's not so much and are beyond controllable for child and parent. I am hoping things quiet down for you all. Have a relaxing evening.

lostandtired
lostandtired

 @KeelyCorinneMiller you know, I have never thought of that. You make a really good point. He does have the ability to stop and start on demand, at least most of the time. But rage is a really good way to describe what he's doing. Thank you very much for pointing that out. 🙂

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