We had an incident that occurred yesterday between Emmett and Gavin that not only has us concerned but also creeped out.
This is actually a bit uncomfortable to talk about but in the interest of honesty and me not losing my mind, I’m going to just put this out there.
First of all, I wasn’t present at the time. I was picking up Elliott from school, so Lizze was the lucky one stuck dealing with this until I got home.
Basically, Emmett had run over to Gavin and put is face in Gavin‘s crotch.
Gavin apparently enjoyed the interaction because he encouraged Emmett to continue the game. Emmett got a kick out of Gavin‘s reaction and so he continued. It turned into Emmett kissing Gavin‘s crotch. When Lizze walked out of the kitchen and saw what was happening, she witnessed Gavin close his legs when Emmett ran away and then spread them out wide and encourage Emmett to make a return trip.
As soon as Lizze realized what was going on, she immediately sent Gavin to his room.
She called me right away because she was so upset by what she witnessed.
My immediate response was wanting to known what Gavin‘s intentions were. That’s something, however, that we may never know. The only thing we know for sure, is that this behavior is, without question, absolutely inappropriate. We spoke to Dr. Patti last night and she said that regardless of his developmental delays or medical conditions, he knows that behavior like that is inappropriate.
We have to protect the boys from this type of behavior, even if that means protecting them from Gavin. There also has to be accountability for his choices. The consequences for this behavior must be swift and severe.
No comes the part that I irrationally struggle with. Gavin‘s health is failing and no one can tell us if it’s going to continue getting worse or better. Lizze and I both feel like we are losing him.
How do you discipline a child that is deteriorating in front of your very eyes?
The sexually aggressive behavior will absolutely stop…period. However, if we have limited time with Gavin, I don’t want to spend it constantly correcting his inappropriate behavior. Does that make sense? I don’t want to have my most recent memories of him throwing a fit or melting down because he’s being held accountable for his actions.
I know that it’s probably not making much sense and I’m not wanting to give him a free pass. I just wish he would make better choices so that his brothers would be safer and he could enjoy his life.
Does that make sense?.
Realistically, we have to address these problems, regardless of where Gavin happens to be on his journey.
It’s a really horrible position to be in and I know the right thing to do. It’s just that I wish things were different. I wish Gavin didn’t have these problems. I wish he made better choices and I wish I didn’t feel like we were on borrowed time. I just want to enjoy life and I want my kids to be kids and do the same.