Aug 02

I’ve moved on from Lost and Tired

I can now be found at  The Autism Dad

There comes a time in everyone’s journey, that a fork in the road is reached. When that time comes, a decision is often required before you’re able to continue moving forward. 

I’ve realized that Lost and Tired has reached that fork in the road. 

There were a number of reasons I’ve found myself here but there’s only a few that really matter. 

  
For those following Lost and Tired, you’re likely aware that the issues with Facebook essentially crippled the site.  While this wasn’t the only reason for moving on, it was a catalyst.  

When I began Lost and Tired over 6 years ago now, it was at a time in my life where I felt completely lost and without a direction to go in. It was fitting and something that so many special needs parents could relate to. 

When my wife left last year, the boys and I began a new journey on our own. It wasn’t a journey that we would ever have asked for but our path had changed nonetheless. 

The fork in the road can take me in two different directions. 

One will allow me to continue down the same path I’ve been on for as long as I can remember. The problem is that this path also includes a great deal of pain and baggage from all the boys and I have been through this past year. 

The second path takes us down a road into uncharted territory. While the destination is uncertain, this second path allows the boys and I to make a fresh start. 

I’ve chosen to take this second path because I feel that in doing so, I will be able to better embrace this new journey and gain a sense of closure as well. 

All of the past Lost and Tired backstory will remain at the Lost and Tired Blog as a reminder of all we’ve overcome along the way. 

The Autism Dad blog picks up on January 1, 2015 and will carry though our current and upcoming journeys.  

I feel as though I will be able to provide the community with a more positive but realistic take on what life is like for me, as single Dad, raising 3 boys with Autism, all by myself. 

As always, what you read here will be very honest, transparent and raw. 

I don’t sugarcoat things and I share the good, bad and the ugly. If you don’t like that, simply move along to another blog that’s more your type. 😀

I really need your help because starting over is starting over. Please be sure to follow my new social media accounts at the top right on this page. Please share my story by using the sharing buttons at the top of each post or page. 

This is critical because I need to hit the ground running and regain some lost ground. In order to support my family and get my support sites alive and serving he community, I must get ad revenue back on track. 

Thanks everyone for coming along for the ride.  😀

Jul 31

I have great news to share tonight 

“I have great news to share tonight”

  
I’m so happy to be able to share with you that the boys had a great time tonight with their Mom and Grandmother at the balloon festival. 

While this is just one visit, it feels like a step in the right direction. 😀

If baby steps is what it takes, than baby steps it will be. 😊

Jul 31

This summer hasn’t gone as I had planned…but that’s okay

“This summer hasn’t gone as I had planned…but that’s okay”

This was the very first summer since the boys and I have been on our own. I had what apparently turned out to be rather ambitious plans for the boys and I. 

  
I had planned on a few trips to the zoo and maybe a camping trip. What I really wanted to do was take the boys on a train ride. I know that sounds kinda lame but there is a old style train that you can get tickets for and ride thought a few counties in my area. I thought that would be a really fun experience for the boys and I. 

As with many things in life, nothing has gone as planned but rather than get bummed out about it, I’m going to make the best of the month we have left until school starts.

The truth is, just making it through the day has proven to be much more challenging than I had anticipated. The boys aren’t really back in their feet just yet and neither am I. 

Perhaps a quiet summer will prove to have been the best thing that could have happened. 

We have seen a couple of movies and eaten out a few times. I’ve taken them to the park many times and we went exploring. That was fun for everyone and we made some awesome memories. 

Maybe you have found yourself kinda bummed out for similar reasons this summer. If so, try to remember that it’s not so much what you do or where you go with your kids. It’s all about the quality of the time spent.

You can spend quality time with your kids on even the most modest budget of zero dollars. This is why I’m disappointed but not letting the fact that nothing has panned out get me down. 

Keep your chin up.. 😀

Jul 31

I’ll be getting a short break tonight :)

“I’ll be getting a short break tonight :)”

It looks like the boys will be going to the Hall of Fame Balloon Fest tonight. The boys grandmother asked if the boys could go tonight and hangout, eat dinner and watch the balloons lift off. 

It’s not a weekend that they are supposed to go but I think they’ll have a great time and it’s a neutral environment so hopefully, the boys that tend to struggle with visits will be more comfortable.

Truthfully, I like these impromptu visits because while they’re very short, it feels like we’ve found a balance and it gives me a sense of hope for the long term sustainability of things. Plus, it does give me a chance to catch my breath and that’s crucial to everything at this point. 😀

I’m also grateful beyond words that I have such a good relationship with my soon to be ex-in laws. My wife is divorcing me, I’m not divorcing her family. Family is family and it transcends legal documentation.. This is definitely a silver linging in an otherwise unpleasant situation and one that I will always be grateful for.. 

  

Jul 31

The boys will be home this weekend

“The boys will be home this weekend”

The boys will be home this weekend because they don’t visit their Mom until next weekend. This means it should be a relatively peaceful weekend, with no transition stress to worry about. 

I have no immediate plans for anything at this point but I do believe my brother and his family may be stopping by for a bit tonight..

The boys have gone through all the food in the house so I’m going to have to hit the grocery store today. The boys are just eating nonstop it seems like. I’m really having a tough time keeping food in the house. 

Anyway, everyone is getting along and for that I’m very grateful. 😀

  

Jul 31

I’m hoping my kids will take pity on me and let me take a nap

“I’m hoping my kids will take pity on me and let me take a nap”

Gavin finally fell asleep last night and slept through the rest of the night without and discomfort. 😀

Elliott on the other hand is a completely different story. He woke up around 3am and never couldn’t go back to sleep. I honestly

I have no memory of why he was up because I was so exhausted at that point.. I do remember him wanting to try sleeping on the couch but wouldn’t go by himself. I’m assuming that’s why I woke up this morning on the couch.. lol

I’m dead to the world today and I don’t think I’m gonna make it without a nap. Hopefully, the boys will take pity on me and get along together long enough for me to close my eyes for a little bit. 😴

  

Jul 31

Why does my oldest dress so warm in the Summer?

“Why does my oldest dress so warm in the Summer?”

There are quite a few unique things about my oldest son Gavin. One of these unique things is described as marked autonomic dysfunction. 

That’s basically fact talk for Gavin’s brain doesn’t always control his autonomic functions properly. 

Some of the autonomic functions in question are listed below. 

  • Blood pressure
  • Heart rate
  • Vascular constriction
  • Body temperature 
  • Metabolism 
  • He’s physically unable to sweat
  • I’m suspecting his current bladder issues

When any or in some cases, all of these important functions don’t function properly, he goes into what’s called an Autonomic Crisis. 

He hasn’t been in a major crisis in some time but when he does go into one of these crises, it’s literally a life threatening situation. 

There are a few day to day struggles as well. 

The one that I probably find the most curious is his inability to regulate his body temperature. 

I snapped a picture the other day because it was a perfect example of how this disorder impacts him. 

  
No matter how hot it is outside, he’s always freezing cold. When Intook this picture the other day, it was in the 90’s outside and Gavin was wearing jeans, a sweat shirt and a long sleeve hoodie. 

I’m always concerned that he’s going to get sick or overheat but according to his doctors, if he’s looking to wear these things, he legitimately cold and I should just follow his lead. 

Jul 31

Please keep Gavin in your thoughts and prayers tonight

“Please keep Gavin in your thoughts and prayers tonight”

Gavin’s really struggling tonight. He’s experiencing bladder issues again and he’s unable to sleep because he constantly feels like he has to go to the bathroom. 

This isn’t a bladder infection or anything like that. It’s the same thing he’s been dealing with for a few months now. 

It’s a very rare but known side effect of Clozapine. 

He’s on medication to counter this but it’s not been working as of late. He sees the doctor on Monday and we’ll figure out a plan of attack. 

I’m not entirely convinced that we aren’t dealing with an autonomic issue, instead of a medication side effect. 

It’s going to be a really rough night tonight.

My hope is that he will be able to fall asleep and sleep through the night. Any positive thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated by both myself and Gavin.  

  

Jul 30

I know my kids love me but feel like I’m paying the price for the actions of others

“I know my kids love me but feel like I’m paying the price for the actions of others”

Something occurred to me last night while I was struggling with my kids. There is no question in my mind that my kids love and respect me but Elliott and Emmett both yell at me frequently. 

I’m a big boy and I do my best not to take it personally but I do find that while I’m the focus of their anger, I’m not the cause. 

While I’m not the cause of their anger or pain, I am the person who bares the brunt of their purging or lashing out over it. While I completely understand the mechanics and psychology behind this, I do find it difficult at times to cope with this because I run myself into the ground for them, each and every day. 

I was born during day but that wasn’t yesterday.. 

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what they are upset about and who they are upset at. The problem is that they just choose make me the target. 

I know that it’s because they trust me, feel more comfortable with me and it doesn’t hurt that I’m with them all the time. They also know that no matter what they say or do, I’ll never leave them. 

So I guess I could look at it like this. I could just feel lucky that the boys recognize me as a safe person to just let it all go with. I could also look at it as just a beautiful burden that I must carry for now. I can sometimes just get tired and frustrated because I’m feel like I’m paying the price for someone else’s actions. 

  

Jul 30

What is physical therapy like for kids with #Autism? *Video*

“What is physical therapy like for kids with #Autism? *Video*”

I get asked the above question all the time. People that are looking to get their child with Autism into physical therapy, want to know what their child can expect.
  
Both physical and occupational therapies for kids with Autism have always proven to be amazing for my three boys with Autism. They absolutely love their time with the therapist and they benefit in many ways, both physically and emotionally. 

Below you will find a few video examples of some things my son has been doing while at physical therapy. 

I don’t always know what each activity does specifically but I know they help and he has a great time. 💪

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